So i see i haven't updated this thing since April and honestly its b/c i forgot and just got lazy with it. if i were to go through everything that's been going on with me between then and now I'd probably have to break this up into 5 separate blog entries.So for the sake of that ill try to keep it short.
For the most part everything is everything. over this past summer i got a chance to go up to NY/NJ to for my family reunion to see family i didn't even know i had. really enjoyed myself up there. got to see ground zero, china town and times square among other places.
Work has been going pretty good as well, made my 3 years back in June. i put up a status on my face book the other day saying that "if you were to cut me right now I'd probably bleed brown" which is just how much i love my job and now that we're getting into the holiday season again which is also our peak season I'm getting alot more hours. trying to get all i can now b/c once December 26Th hits its all over, work volume will cut down ALOT and those hours will be gone.
lastly is something that I've been trying to put behind me for the past few months...ever since i found out about it via face book (kinda cliche ain't it?). But it deals with someone who I've been dealing with off and on for about 8 years. had ups and downs with this person, even lost contact for a brief period of time but reconciled. For a moment i thought things between us were on the up and up. started going to see the person and kicking it, you know tryna start something that i was hoping would blossom into something bigger and better but then i started seeing small little red flags going up that i really tried to not let throw me off what i was trying to do but in the end it all came to pass and i found out what i had a feeling all along was going on.
So yeah i felt like i was played for a fool, wasted 8 years of my life with this person, all the usual emotions of finding out some bad news with someone you cared about deeply.
Sort of went into a hermit mode after that, didn't even bring it up to her, although i knew she probably knew i saw anyway but eventually i just learned to let it go and let it be. even after about 2 months i spoke to her and got some closure with it, made sure there wasn't any bad blood between us.
But in the back of my mind i cant help but ask myself why me? i mean yeah i know i made mistakes but i seriously saw this person as someone i wanted to be with for the long run. and like i told my cousin when i spoke to her about it, when i hop into a relationship I'm in it for the long run, not just a one night thing. maybe we weren't on the same page i guess in the end but its just hard to forget about those 8 years like that.
I don't know though. maybe its in my nature to care so much about someone. but then again it would me i was sincere the whole time with my actions right? i mean someone who wasn't would have just been on to the next one right?
I think I'm getting to the point where I'm tired of being single, it doesn't take much to please me, i just ask you to be real and up front with me and loyal and ill definitely do the same. someone who appreciates the small things that usually mean the most, a simple good morning text, a random goodnight call. a mysterious delivery of roses to her home or job just because. seems like those types are becoming a dying breed this day and age so maybe I'm out of luck? who knows.
But let me cut this off right here b/c i feel myself slipping into one of those moods again, until next time.....
