Sunday, September 28, 2008 @ Life Is Like A Slide Show
So, ole girl went outta town to Atlanta yesterday morning so i pretty much got the house to myself this weekend, been kinda slow on account my knee is still a lil tender from my incident on Friday but since i was feeling a lil better yesterday i decided to go out for a little shooting spree
i took a whole heap of pics so i ain't gonna post em here but you cant check out the link where they all at here:
probably wondering what the title of this entry gotta do with the entry itself lol, well its from a song by t.i feat john legend. ill post it up at the end of this, but basically the over all meaning as it apply's to me is that my life is really like a slide show and instead of me telling you about it, id rather let my pics do the talking for me.
that i tend to put others over self on more than several occasions? like for the people that know me, that REALLY know me know that I'm kind-hearted, sweet, caring, loving, give you the shirt off my back, etc etc. we may joke around and i may get a lil rowdy but they know I'm just fooling around and when it comes down to it, i know how to separate the two. but anyway. I'm always up for listening to one of my friends when they got a problem, willing to give advice, crack a joke or two when they're feeling down to help bring em out of it. I'm the type to do for one of my friends and not expect anything in return less'n even think about asking, even if money was offered id turn it down....some may say that's dumb as hell but its just me and I'm that type of person.
so as nice as i am...i wonder if that's a bad thing b/c of all those factors? i mean i know the whole being nice only gets you fucked over in the long run and yes i have faced it more than once but the good of being nice far over shadows the bad that has came from it. but i don't know, i just love to please others before pleasing myself. maybe it is b/c of how i was raised. i mean growing up my family pretty much gave me whatever i wanted, and i always heard "you'll appreciate stuff more when you buy it yourself"
some of you may be wondering how that ties into this. well...being given stuff when i was little, when i got older and was able to start buying stuff myself and having that feeling that I got it with my OWN money...it tied into that as well. since i was stable enough to do stuff on my own i started sharing that with other people around me....my family and friends, and never wanting anything in return.
i always get compliments on that too from folks "oh that's so nice or that's so sweet of you or you are so considerate" and how most folks from hearing it over and over would make they're head swell up like a balloon, I've always remain grounded thru it all. yes i really appreciate those kind words but to me that's all they are...words...just folks taking notice in what I'm doing and sharing them with me is the real reward to me.
i guess all in all, i take pride and enjoy knowing that by my actions as small as some may be can have an affect on someone Else's life...as little as making their day to as big as making a difference in their life. so id never change it and hey....maybe it ain't so bad after all
Tuesday, September 23, 2008 @ Twice in one day again lol
but say man, being single can be a real bitch sometimes, usually i don't even care b/c i ain't really looking for no relationship and sure i have female friends but that's all they are....just "friends" and i think now its getting to a point to where maybe i do want something more than friendship. my only problem is...I'm not sure if ill be up to the challenge. no offense to any females that read this but these chicks down here just got a real fucked up mentality about things and i KNOW i wouldn't be able to deal with it, i guess i want a girl that's just like me....laid back, chill, and a lil old fashioned.
ion think that's really too much to ask but i gotta look at myself too and see if I'm being too picky about it or what. i don't think i am but ehh....over all the shit is just starting to suck and them winter months are coming up.....i wouldn't mind being somebodies teddy bear/rick rosslmao
but hey...good things come to those who wait....and I've been in this line for a few yrs now.... :-(
Now i usually don't blog in the morning...well, i NEVER blogged in the morning lol but i just wanted to share a pic with you good folks who take the time out to browse my blog. and this is a pic of what i have to deal with on my job MondaythruFriday for about 5 and a half hrs
yeah....that big ass pile which at one point you couldn't even seen the other side where those 4 guys are sitting....so yeah now you know the job detail behind the complaint lol.
oh yeah...i think i done found me a new song of the moment, if yeen got that new t.i CD yet, ought go check it out, that one joint with luda.....fucking bananas
Sometimes i sit back and wonder about the online folks....not too much tho b/c it why? shit don't concern me., but anyway sometimes i sit back and wonder....you know somebody that's quote en quote a "caker", jumping from one female to the next, and the shit is just so obvious sometimes like, niggalmao just quit the shit....you trying just a lil TOO hard.
but you know its funny when that person and they're new piece of "cake" are bettycrockering it up and out of the blue someone comes from left field and says something about the piece of "cake" so the "caker" takes it upon himself to defend his piece of "cake" mannnnnnn if that ain't some of the funniest shit lmao....espeically if you know the two ain't nowhere near each other and probably never gonna be but yet acting like husband and wife.....but hey...i cant knock it.....just a random thought lol.
shit what a fucking day....woke up with my back fucking killing me, so i was semi crippled for a few hrs, then later on a headache came on, which I'm still dealing with right now even after taking two Advil'ssmh so I'm all kinda fucked up right about now
but besides dealing with that, its something else that's weighing down on me. just a simple question. "what do you do when you like two different people at the same time?" its like...one you've known for some time and y'all cool as hell, maybe y'all both feeling each other, but then later on down the line comes another person into the picture, y'alldon't really TALK or anything but just from the casual convo's you two have you feel that vibe from the person...where you wanna get to know em a lil bit better.
what do you do? break off contact with the other person and start making moves on the new one, shattering the foundation you built up with em? or do you keep in contact with the first person and keep things as they were while starting something with the new person in the HOPES that you wont get caught up?
but lets throw some variables into the mix....one being...you aren't official or anything with either one....just really good friends but maybe there are some feelings there and two....neither one is close to you. now that distance shit, I've already heard any and errything you can possible say about it "oh you lame for tryna get with somebody not even in the same state as you...yadayadayada" well....you cant really help who you like...one of the many wonders of the heart...
but anyway just something i was curious about and how to handle it, i know no one wants to come off as a "player" or to be "drawn along on a string" b/c that can lead to a fall out later on down the line. but it leads back to the main topic....what do you do?
Well yet another Friday is upon us, for some including me its pay day, so that's always a plus. but ain't really much else been going on with me, i know i kinda been slipping on the blogging lately too but all i basically do nowadays is just work, come home, shower up, run a few errands, come back home and go to sleep, get up and repeat X 5 lol. but other than that uhhh...i made my 3 months, i might have mentioned that in my last entry, ionno...dah well, anyway that means my benefits done kicked in plus i got my lil raise, and now they got me doing a lil bit of errything out there, so I'mofficiallyversatilelol.
gotta go in early Monday morning to take a lil crash course class on how to handle damaged packages so i can get certified for it. ehhh, moving on...lets see....hmm...hell ionno for some reason the stuff i wanna talk about i think i mentioned in the other blog before this one lol but uhhh yeah, i got me a tripod finally so now i can unleash this camera and see what it can do and if yeen been keeping up, well i really ain't been either but check out my flickr page to see some of the pics I've took so far http://www.flickr.com/photos/tre305/
but yeah....other than that just been doing me, chillin, vibe'n, etc etc. so i guess ill cut it short right there
You ever listen to some music and a certain song comes on that sends a shiver down your spine? maybe shed a tear from your eye? just rattle up some old memories? made you just sit there and think back on a few things in your life?
well that's the mood i kinda slipped into while listening to Luther Vandorss - dance with my father. it just made me start to think about my dad, then led to me thinking about all the stuff that Ive been thru in my life and why i tend to bottle it up.
i don't know tho, i know its bad but its like for one...i really don't know who to open up to b/c you cant trust any and everybody and two, if and once i do open up, ill feel weird afterwards for some reason.
i guess a third reason would be that most of the stuff I've yet to tell would make the average person cry and i don't wanna burden anyone with that, but i know it ain't doing no good in holding it in too and i got YEARS and YEARS of shit built up. and after talking to a good friend, i thought about maybe going to the church with it, but then thought about it and how the church IS....maybe not....i might be a subliminal in the following Sunday's sermon smh
its really only one other person i can think of to start with and i just might do that and see how it works out b/c i got shit way back from about 5 or 6 that nobody knows about to this day but me.
but ehh....just a random thought, and honestly really don't know where else to go with this but ill figure it out....BEZ
I ain't gonna put it all out there b/c not everything needs to be told, but basically an EX of mine came back into my life...or so i thought, via facebook and phone. we exchanged a few words here and there, so she hits me up with a lil message that when i read it...srsly felt like a punch to the chest and that the last two days have been a complete waste.
now after reading that text, one side of me wanted to call her and act my skin color, but the other side just told me to let it go. i ain't the type to wish bad or karma on somebody but what goes around DEFINITELY comes back around and i got a feeling its gonna be ten fold on her part.
but anyway, I'm done with the shit, ain't no reason to be stressing over it b/c it ain't really nothing to stress, let her do her and ima continue to do me as i been doing. but i know one thing, if she tries to pull a stunt and come back later on down the line. lord sweet baby Jesus help me for how my mentality will be towards her at that point in time, b/c quite frankly, i cant be held accountable for it.
but on a lighter note, living in this star field city, on my daily driving outing's i spotted one of the Marley sons in a drop top Bentley GT....all i gotta say is....must be fucking nice.
and i THOUGHT i had a lil weekend getaway lined up for the end of this month to Atlanta with my mama and cousin and my other cousin from Maryland would meet us there....but they all flying so screw that, plan out the window. not that ion mind flying but i just hate my ears popping and if that wasn't an issue then id drop the cash for my ticket.but ion even think id be able to get the time off anyway, even tho I'm off on the weekends, they leaving Saturday and come back Monday afternoon....i work Monday morning, so it'd be iffy....
but ehh, ill be up there next year, no biggie, but ima cut this shit off short right here, im hungry as fuck and i needa get some sleep for in the morning
What can i say? 22, negro, FL bored and raised, part time photographer, part time
graphic designer....well used to be, part time drunk, full time UPS clerk, and a whole bunch of other boring
stuff you probably don't wanna read, or might already know
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