If you got this far then i would like to thank you for being nosey and clicking on the link from my status on yahoo :-D
but yeah, another devils night is upon us and as usual i ain't doing shit but probably gonna hope on GTA IV and cause some terror of my own. but as i drove around the city as the sun set Ive NEVER seen so many lil kids out trick or treating, shit actually shocked me but as i saw em i was listening to the radio and heard some funny ass shit. somebody called in saying that in the "hood" people give the lil kids just about anything including old left overs, old soy and duck sauce packets, and car air fresheners and the lil candy that they do get taste like pine....shit had me dyin.
but anyway, if you are doing anything, be safe out there and remember....don't drink and drive.............................................................................. ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... ................................................................................... .......................................at the same time :-D
Wednesday, October 29, 2008 @ Ain't No Love In the Heart of the City
well not really, i think ima start slowing down on this blogging stuff, maybe b/c i really don't have anything with substance to actually blog about, I'm pretty sure folks read it, but i browse other folks blogs and see all the comments and then look back at mines and realize how bare it is, just makes me think sometimes. but even without comments, as long as they are read or even skimmed over then that's all good with me.
but yeah, I'm starting to feel like I'm falling back into a manotinous routine. get up at 3am....leave the house by 3:30....get to work maybe a quarter to 4. get off around 11 or 12noon, come home, run a few errands and go to sleep...then repeat. and hell on the weekends i try to go out but i usually end up catching up on the sleep i missed during the week. i really hate when i do that shit, b/c i had the same problem when i worked in a call center, but that was just sitting on my ass for 8 plus hrs listening to assholes over the phone. at least now I'm up on my feet moving around so i cant complain too much.
I'm only about 5 and a half months in the hole now but i feel like I'm ready for more now, I'm ready to move up. one of the clerks i worked with asked me if i was interested in a supervisoral position and i said yeah but the only draw back to that is that if i take it, the union will no longer have my back so if i ever get into some shit, I'm basically assed out. so I'm still pondering on it, and lately I've even been thinking about signing my name of the long list to become a driver. ive never really been the type to ask questions, just let the shit slide or find out on my own but with this job i find myself asking alot more. and by asking alot more, learning alot more, and by knowing alot more the more they demand from you.
like i said Ive only been there for 5 months and I'm already certified on numerous procedures, you'd think folks with 10 plus years would be doing. maybe they took a special interest in me or something, I'm always getting handshakes and pats on the back and "good job Travis" "keep up the good work Travis" i don't let those kind words get to my head b/c i know at any moment it can all be taken away from me and ill be back to square one. but yeah, i may get mad at times b/c I'm doing one thing and they call me over for another, i just take it all in stride and deal with it b/c I'm still getting paid and i know it'll all pay off in the end, if i got anything to do with it that is.
went and did early voting last week with my mama, thought it wouldn't be so bad, which it really wasn't but as soon as we pulled up to the voting polls, the line was way outside wrapped around the building. we stood in line a good two and a half hrs but they gave us water and this lady in front of us my mama started talking to generously shared her umbrella with us since it was hotter than a mug out there, but finally got in and i guess its all paper ballots this time around, had to fill em out (front and back) then feed em into a scanned machine that counted em i guess. felt good tho once we got out knowing i did a duty my folks fought for years and years ago to get. i am starting to wonder tho b/c as i ride around the city, the number of McCain/Palin signs outnumber the Obama/Biden signs, but that's all irrelevant, Nov.4Th will tell all.
other than that, I'm still slipping on this school thing, i been contemplating on maybe getting a second job and how that would interact with me going to school. all that's left on the check list is to take the CPT, do the finical aid paperwork and set an orientation date and talk to an advisor. i really think i just need that little "push"...any takers?
I'm really starting to get deep into the whole world of digital photography, feels like it did when i started out in photoshop....took me forever to get DECENT at it, but it feels like Ive gotten DECENT faster with this. I'm going out almost every weekend for a few shots, learning new techniques and styles and I'm loving it. I'm still shopping around for an more advanced model tho, something with at least 10 mega pixels or above, which i know is gonna cost a pretty penny. but it'll be worth it
all in all, everything is everything, no matter how crazy the world is or whats going on right outside my door, i just keep it moving and keep on pushing. hey that's all you really can do right? so i guess ill end this with a song Ive been playing alot lately that i can kinda relate to and as to no surprise its an old school joint.
So last time i got into HDR in digital photography. still working on it trying to get it just right, and while browsing thruflickr, i came across something called "painting with light", well i wont go into much detail b/c i don't wanna confuse anyone lol so ill just post some of my first attempts at it, let me know what y'all think.
i swear i think this is the best investment i could have done for myself in a long ass time, and I'm starting to think maybe i wanna make this just more than a hobby....
well another Sunday is upon us, and to most it meant Sunday church service followed by Sunday afternoon football, well it wasn't for me, i actually decided to go for a little outing to take a few pics, and even tho it was quite gloomy and dark out due to an oncoming cold front, i still made the best out of it and got some nice shots. and just like in previous entries that have been directed towards my photography hobby, the link to check em out is
if you ain't too busy gon head and check it out, other than that, well yeah that's pretty much been my whole day, I'm really starting to see this city live up to its motto and i hope i can get some more shots of it later on down the line so be on the look out.
so lately i been looking at alot of pics on flickr that have been retouched with HDR (high dynamic resolution) and it really gives an ordinary picture alot more OHH and AHH. i always wondered how it was done and finally looked it up today. seemed pretty easy from the tutorials on it so i went and tired my first attempt at it myself and well...here's the results
BTW: i had to take 3 pics of the same scene to get the affect so I'm just posting one of the originals to compare to the final result.
and the end result
at first i thought it didn't really come out good, but hey its only my first try, and its something I'm gonna definitely do some more of, so yeah, just thought id share
I shoulda just added this into the last one but it came up a lil afterwards and ion feel like going back to edit it, but anyway. sometimes..within my nice ways, i know its easy to get "fucked over"...so i begin to ponder...what if i was more assholish than my southern gentleman demeanor? would i get a lil bit further in things? or just make it worse? yeah i know you cant let one bad apple spoil the bunch but its kinda hard to do so when its what you been subjected to on more than one occasion.
so i thought it was gonna be an OK day....got off work...it was feeling good as hell this morning, nice and nippy....anyway...got off...still nice out....bright and sunny, yada yada....decided to go out for a few shots with my camera. went and did that...came back home...my mama says we gonna go vote. i completely forgot early voting started today...at first i was like "HELL FUCK NAWL" then i was like "MEH...WHATEVER" went to the liabrary.....line all the way around the corner...i just slumped down in my seat ready to say fuck it, but then she saw one of her co-workers and that basically sealed the deal.
needless to day it was hotter than satans toenails, ole girl in front of us started sweating her tracks out. tryna play it off like her head was itching, only laughter i had all day...finally got inside and had to wait in anothe r line to actually go inside the room where they were voting, but yeah...took care of that...got it out the way. now tomorrow im going to an obama rally, which i was kinda excited to go to at first.
but aint it funny how one little thing can just fuck up ya whole vibe, to the point where you dont really feel like doing shit else. not to where your pissed off at whoever and whatever, but your just like "eh...whatever"
its hard to explain and i wont go into deatilas....me and the person know and thats all that matters but like the title says.....go **** yourself
Oh boy....what a day.....church went on a little longer than expect b/c pastor wasn't getting the "amens" that he wanted smh.....i was about ready to just get up and leave. tryna hold us in there like we kids or some shit...cmonbruh.
dolphins lost....what else is new.
went to a little get together with my mama and some group shes apart of, they get together one Sundayerry month and discuss the bible and whatnot. it felt weird as hell to me, whole heap of older black women and the one old white lady from driving ms. Daisey. but lawd have mercy was the food good. salad with strawberries? i ain't never had no shit like that before. but i damn shol fucked it up.
turns out the outing was at one of my mama friends, sister house which is in the inner city...my old stomping grounds. when we left we rode back thru to get to the turnpike to head back south home. just to see how much shit AIN'T changed up there and how rough it still is up there really makes me appreciate where i live at now. life could have been so much different for me right now if i still lived up on that end but thank god i got out when i did.
and lastly....i done had this DSLR camera for a few months now and i love the damn thing, but lately I've been looking into getting yet another one...the one i got now is 6.3MPs and i want at least an 10MP....is that bad? i mean I'm really tryna get deep into this stuff and i know i can make it do what it do with what i got now but to capture more detail...i need something a lil more advanced...but ionno.
i took a few shots while i was out today...i feel i coulda got alot more better ones but i was just being lazy and when i got back home i was gonna go back out for a lil bit before the sun set but then i realized i gotta be at work at 4:15 in the morning....maybe another time......
so i pretty much been playing this video and song non-stop since i first saw the video premiere a few days ago. its like no other shit that's out right now IMO. every time i watch it, it just almost hypnotizes me into another world, kinda like what the bear was in. its funny how it all played out tho, like a regular day and all the stuff that can occur to someone throughout the course of it.
this like the first video in a long ass time that Ive liked this much...i mean besides the occasional flick lol....just thought id share
So over the course of my 22 years on the place called earth, Ive been called more than a few choice words....kinda of basically adding up to misunderstood, which i can live with b/c i really think I'm not like anybody else out there....of course I'm not...I'm ME....built like no one else....but yet not on any cocky, I'm the shit bitch type mess.
by me saying I'm like no other is b/c i tend to look at things a lil bit different than the average person. maybe it was from how i was raised or just how i carried myself. some folks tend to over react to certain situations where as i, instead of looking at all the bad in it, try and find some good. yeah i know whoever reads this is probably gonna say "don't everybody try to do that tho?". well if you know me well enough and we're cool like that. if you ever came to me with a problem that seemed bad, then you know i always tried to see the lighter side of it and take your mind off the darker side to it.
but anyway....some folks seem to move at the speed of light to me...always on the go, here and there, things to do, people to see. well, not really my type of vibe. I'm real laid back and easy going. an old supervisor of mines (rest her soul) used to say when i walked it was almost like i was gliding lol, never in a rush. and that's b/c i never really am. id rather take my time in anything than to rush thru it. i wanna enjoy it and savor it and if its time, snap a few pics to preserve the memories. so can that be a bad thing? i don't know you tell me.
i guess you can say I'mConservative too. i really don't like putting my two cents into alotta things b/c i guess its my fault if i don't know the subject at hand too well, or i just cant relate to it. I've tried in the past to put one foot out there but it just got ran over. which brings me back to the misunderstood part. yeah i say alot of shit some may not get. i wouldn't expect em to anyway. i tend to speak sometimes without thinking unless otherwise. that can be a bad thing yes but its just the way i am. i don't do it as much anymore compared to a few yrs back.
i may come off to some people as quiet...anti-social...maybe even a lil slow. cant blame em b/c that's how i put it out there, until you actually get to know me, or maybe just one day out the blue i say something that changes your whole perspective on it, then yeah....i do have some book smarts in me. its just not visible as much as some folks.
but overall, who am i? ill leave that up to you the reader. there was a point in my life where words would get under my skin. someone can actually vouch for that but now, i try to treat myself like a positive magnet and let them negative talk just bounce off me. I'm getting better at it each day but not where i wanna be at yet.
i mean after all, they're just words....cant do any harm until you take it a step further and get physical....but yeah...folks gonna talk about you til the day you die and life's way too short to be worry about it (cliche i know). but I'm thankful for the folks that i know who put up with me and see me as that "southern gentleman" as my blog title suggests. but like i said, ill leave it up to you to tell me who i am. I'm always up for improvement :-)
Meh, ain't really took any pics lately and my camera been sitting on the dresser collecting dust for the past few weeks, so i thought id go out and try something new with a filter i got to block out some of the sun rays so the images wouldn't come out as one bright ass pic. but anyway, i kinda like the rend results and might try it again when i get some better conditions.
Sunday, October 12, 2008 @ Sunday evening thoughts 10/12
So today was a so so good day i suppose, went back to church after being missing in action for about two weeks, i doubt anyone even noticed I'm gone b/c i didn't get the huge amount of hugs and handshakes id get regularly. dah well, seems the video screen we use to show the lyrics to the songs and show ads was working after being out of service a few months but i didn't find out until well into the service. so after the welcome to first time visitors took place the pastor walked in and over to me and asked me about it. i kinda was stuck for words...yeah i knew it was working since they told me but it was already too late to bring it down so i just told him that i thought it was still out of order and whatnot
the expression on his face after that just felt like a slap to my face lol, man i felt bad as hell for some reason, he said OK and smiled and walked up to the front but i was just like damn....well ain't nothing i can do anyway, its too late....my aunt who also works with me back there just told me to always say "nobody told me anything" to cover my ass...which i shoulda did but eh...whatever
but moving on...once church got out it seems a lil situation happened out int he parking lot between a dude that plays the drums and somebody else over some chick that sings in the choir. all i can say is these niggasig'nant as hell fighting over a broad neither one of em with smh.
other than that its been an alright day i guess. nothing else major. kinda got a busy week ahead of me as i complete the process for school but ill get thru it and now that i think about it...this entry aint even contain any thoughts whatsoever...i think...Ha!
So I'm sitting up here watching COPS...one of my favorite shows BTW....so they pull up in front of a lil stop and shop with a shitload of roaches....i mean niggas, they out front gambling, so when they pull up of course they all make like roaches and scatter...police run after one and catch him around the corner.....now the funny part is that the police already saw what him and everybody else was doing but this dude wants to sit up right in the cop face and lie about it.
"oh sir i was coming out the cleaners and they said somebody shooting so i ran!" "i wasn'ttryna get shot sir! see that gold truck over there? that's mines!, i wash cars sir i swear to god!" nigga shut the fuck up and just admit you was in the wrong shit, this is why i hate "niggas". digging themselves into a deeper hole errytime they open they mouth, even after read they marauder rights.
and then they wanna act all nonchalant about whatever they did, thinking they innocent as a two year old child. kiss my ass with that shit, sometimes i wish officers would use excessive force on these niggas like they did back in the day and not get caught , or maybe have some more stiffer rules and regulations.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008 @ First day of the rest of my life
Sometimes i wish colleges were like high schools....enclosed all around with AC...but that's part of the experience i suppose.
Well today i finally got off my lazy ass and went out to Miami Dade College and re-registered for the spring term which starts in January. felt kinda good to actually do it and it all started from a letter they sent me last week. i only did like 2 out of the 5 steps but i ain't sitting around on it this time, matter of fact I'm going right back out there tomorrow to take the CPT and gotta swing by my old high school to get my transcript sent over.
but yeah...I'm proud of myself and now actually looking forward to it, i know you cant get far these days without one, and i dint even know how ima hold up seeing as how hard of a time i had getting out of high school but hey, its only one way to find out and its time for me to travel down that road to see.
so I'm on my way to my mama job to drop something off to her right.....turn down the street to get to her job from the back entrance, its pretty much the "hood" so to say...a drug area if you will, but anyway as i approach her job i ride by these two dudes that got each other in a choke hold and i see an old man with a stick swinging it back and forth....I'm thinking to myself, they must be brothers or something and grandpa just tryna break it up.
then some hoochie mama pulls up and gets out and trys to break it up, i ain't pay too much attention to it, so i just drove right pass em on to her job.....well...on my way back...these fools still at it, grandpa still holding the cane stick tryna break em up, ole gurl still tryna break em up, now some other dude comes out pushing her back and yelling at her, these two fools still got each other in a choke hold....grandma comes out, about 20 folks from down the street come over to see whats going on
as i ease pass em again, i notice em break loose, one dude stomps off to the car and this one dude that was near my car takes off running full speed in the other direction....and so does errybody else....yeah you can pretty much guess what happened next but i wasn'ttryna get a bullet hole in the whip so i peeled off along with errybody else....i wanted to be black and be nosey but nahhhhhh not today.
Eroooooooooooooooooooo, beam me up, oh sorry, didn't see you there. well as i sit here vibe'n to this song (TayDizm feat T-pain & Rick Ross - Beam me up) i notice....that i got a shitload of clothes in my closet, some from high school that i don't wear anymore but the majority i still do....and i just got a new outfit a few weeks ago and I'm about to get one more this week, fuck ima put all this shit?! I'm feeling like jay-z right now "true story my closet is like two stories"......
other than that the other thing on my mind is something I've talked about before and set out to do but just never followed thru with it, and after 4 and a half yrs.....that's going back to school or rather STARTING it. I've been out the loop for far too long now and i know its gonna be hell for me jumping back into it but i feel that its finally the right time.
my only problem is i don't know what i wanna take up. i always said something dealing with electronics but i know that would incorporatealot of math and that ain't one of my more stronger areas but from talking to my boy Epidemik earlier, i should get some math books and try to freshen up a lil bit b/c i know I'm rusty as that old ass Chevy caprice sitting on bricks in ya uncles backyard.
but hey, in this day and age and especially at time TIME, you ain't gonna get far without at least ONE college degree, but even having that or a PhD behind ya name ain't gonna guarantee you'll make it either, its gonna take alot of hard work and dedication which I'm gonna have to teach myself. and as long as i have faith in myself i know ill be OK.
maybe one day instead of driving thru the nicer richer side of town down here, ill be driving thru....make a quick right....make another right...pull up to the front gate...push a little button...and well...you know the rest......yeah....thats my dream....time to make it a reality.
so despite the bad day I've had up thus far...i browsed to a favorite website of mines and came across a pic that just cracked me up......i guess even Nick can be racist lol
and on a side note...Oreo overload from cold stone is my new found love.....FUCK YEAH!
-tuned into the news this afternoon to find out that the old townhouse me and my mama used to stay at caught fire from our old next door neighbors home. its really chilling b/c we could have easily still been living there today and could have been us.
- ordered part one of a 3 part purchase I'mtryna do....it should be here by next week, part two shall be ordered next week and the last part will probably be two weeks after.
-people at work who i thought were kinda stuck up actually turn out to be some real down to earth cool ass peoples.
-i wonder if i would be approved for "bill me later"......
-i ain't never get my got damn lemon pepper wings...always tomorrow tho
I usually don't do this b/c i don't like putting too much on here like that b/c it can always come back to bite you in the ass, but the way I'm feeling right now, i really don't give a fuck.
yes its someone i care for deeply, ill doubt she'll ever read this since i can never really get in contact with her, but I've known her for maybe 6 months now. prettiest lil thing to grace this earth with a personality to match it. we could go on for hours and hours just talking about the dumbest shit but it didn't bother either one of us as long as we were in each others company.
i kinda slipped up to where we fell off for a while, but when we got back on track things just didn't feel the same between us, I'm not the one to force something out of somebody for any reason but we have talked about it, and basically came to the conclusion to just email it via DESTINYmail to the hands of god.
and i pray every night that she'll come around and things will REALLY go back to the way they used to be. we feel the same way about each other, but i guess i just wanna confirm it. what i wouldn't give for just one day to spend with her, show her just how sincere i am to all that I've said and that actions really do speak louder than words.....hell i wouldn't even need one day, just give me an hour, that's all i would need to give her all this pinted up love and affection.....lord just one chance.....
What can i say? 22, negro, FL bored and raised, part time photographer, part time
graphic designer....well used to be, part time drunk, full time UPS clerk, and a whole bunch of other boring
stuff you probably don't wanna read, or might already know
