March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 January 2011 February 2011 April 2011 November 2011 January 2012 .

that i tend to put others over self on more than several occasions? like for the people that know me, that REALLY know me know that I'm kind-hearted, sweet, caring, loving, give you the shirt off my back, etc etc. we may joke around and i may get a lil rowdy but they know I'm just fooling around and when it comes down to it, i know how to separate the two. but anyway. I'm always up for listening to one of my friends when they got a problem, willing to give advice, crack a joke or two when they're feeling down to help bring em out of it. I'm the type to do for one of my friends and not expect anything in return less'n even think about asking, even if money was offered id turn it down....some may say that's dumb as hell but its just me and I'm that type of person.

so as nice as i am...i wonder if that's a bad thing b/c of all those factors? i mean i know the whole being nice only gets you fucked over in the long run and yes i have faced it more than once but the good of being nice far over shadows the bad that has came from it. but i don't know, i just love to please others before pleasing myself. maybe it is b/c of how i was raised. i mean growing up my family pretty much gave me whatever i wanted, and i always heard "you'll appreciate stuff more when you buy it yourself"

some of you may be wondering how that ties into this. well...being given stuff when i was little, when i got older and was able to start buying stuff myself and having that feeling that I got it with my OWN money...it tied into that as well. since i was stable enough to do stuff on my own i started sharing that with other people around me....my family and friends, and never wanting anything in return.

i always get compliments on that too from folks "oh that's so nice or that's so sweet of you or you are so considerate" and how most folks from hearing it over and over would make they're head swell up like a balloon, I've always remain grounded thru it all. yes i really appreciate those kind words but to me that's all they are...words...just folks taking notice in what I'm doing and sharing them with me is the real reward to me.

i guess all in all, i take pride and enjoy knowing that by my actions as small as some may be can have an affect on someone Else's life...as little as making their day to as big as making a difference in their life. so id never change it and hey....maybe it ain't so bad after all