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So today was the day we buried my uncle....well put him in an mosalium, so i thought i was holding up pretty well until we all arrived at the church and was waiting to walk inside to be seated. well once they did usher us in, the choir was up singing an up lifting song, and as we walked towards the pulpit up front we had to walk by the casket to see our uncle one last time and it was a very somber moment, i was walking behind my lil cousin and as we got closer to him, i started to see him tense up, turning his head away.....I'm like damn.....this is really taking its toll on erryone b/c now we're finally realizing.....this the last time we gonna see him.

during the service, one of my aunts broke down and lawd...when my cousin got up and sung "i pray that we'll all be ready" i just lost it, couldn't hold it back anymore. and from that point til we got to the cemetery i was just tearing up and opening the flood gates.....when we all walked out to get ready to head over, as i saw them loading him into the back of the hearse, i tensed up again and let it all out.

as we were riding in the car with my mama and my three cousins they all kept talking....well mostly my mama, now I'm still boo hoo cryin' and what not, she steady talking, then she mimicked him and said the nick name he used to call me which was "shoobooty" and i just broke down even more. now this was my first funeral i ever attended, and it really hit me hard as HELL.

when we got to the cemetery and they were loading him onto the lil lift thing so they could push him into the mosalium space, i actually didn't shed anymore tears, i was still sad as hell but i just thought of what everybody was telling me..."he's at peace now, he's in a better place, no more sickness, no more pain, he's doing just fine". so maybe that's what gave me that last lil bit of strength at the end of it, but once they were done and errybody was leaving i just stood there looking at it (where they placed him), i guess it was my final goodbye so-to-speak.

but yeah, he was one of my favorite uncles, not just to me but to all my lil cousins around my age, so maybe that's why it hit us like that. but I'm tired as hell from it so ima bring this blog to a close, and just say......always tell ya kinfolk you love em b/c you just never know......


oh yeah....did i mention he went out with a lil smile on his face? yeah that kinda made it easier for me.