Southern Gentlemen

Tears of.....

2012-01-26T15:14:00.002-05:00

They say tears are nothing but weakness leaving the body and now after reading something else from a status on facebook i can call them something else.

"crying are your eyes way of telling what your mouth cant say or your heart cant explain"

Its not often that i break down and let out a few tears but when i get into a mood where it seems that everything seems to be crumbling around me, when i just don't know what my next move is going to be, that's when i turn to God.

I put on these headphones, i open my my gospel play list, and i get into some deep prayer.....like what i just did moments before i wrote this entry.

I mean i was already in a funk, so many thoughts running though my mind that it almost made me dizzy. I was listening to "our god" by Chris Tomlin and somehow ended up on google looking up the interpretation of dreams about dead relatives and what it means.

And....during the peak of the song....the thoughts, the issues, the trails, the emotions....everything i had been bottling up inside me for so long just spilled over and i just had to let it out.

It reminds me of a dream i had a while back....i don't know what the circumstances were behind it but i just know....it was one rainy morning and i was walking out the door to go to work, got in my car, pushed the button the start the engine and it wouldn't turn over....and in that moment almost instantly i remember myself just crying out for the lord.

I really don't know what could be going on with me but i honestly think these could be signs for me to start going deeper into my faith with God, walking just a little bit closer to him which i have to admit i find myself doing alot more lately.

Maybe its him telling me that I've strayed a little too far away from him and its time to come back home......

Update

2011-11-05T18:33:00.002-04:00

So i see i haven't updated this thing since April and honestly its b/c i forgot and just got lazy with it. if i were to go through everything that's been going on with me between then and now I'd probably have to break this up into 5 separate blog entries.So for the sake of that ill try to keep it short.

For the most part everything is everything. over this past summer i got a chance to go up to NY/NJ to for my family reunion to see family i didn't even know i had. really enjoyed myself up there. got to see ground zero, china town and times square among other places.

Work has been going pretty good as well, made my 3 years back in June. i put up a status on my face book the other day saying that "if you were to cut me right now I'd probably bleed brown" which is just how much i love my job and now that we're getting into the holiday season again which is also our peak season I'm getting alot more hours. trying to get all i can now b/c once December 26Th hits its all over, work volume will cut down ALOT and those hours will be gone.

lastly is something that I've been trying to put behind me for the past few months...ever since i found out about it via face book (kinda cliche ain't it?). But it deals with someone who I've been dealing with off and on for about 8 years. had ups and downs with this person, even lost contact for a brief period of time but reconciled. For a moment i thought things between us were on the up and up. started going to see the person and kicking it, you know tryna start something that i was hoping would blossom into something bigger and better but then i started seeing small little red flags going up that i really tried to not let throw me off what i was trying to do but in the end it all came to pass and i found out what i had a feeling all along was going on.

So yeah i felt like i was played for a fool, wasted 8 years of my life with this person, all the usual emotions of finding out some bad news with someone you cared about deeply.

Sort of went into a hermit mode after that, didn't even bring it up to her, although i knew she probably knew i saw anyway but eventually i just learned to let it go and let it be. even after about 2 months i spoke to her and got some closure with it, made sure there wasn't any bad blood between us.

But in the back of my mind i cant help but ask myself why me? i mean yeah i know i made mistakes but i seriously saw this person as someone i wanted to be with for the long run. and like i told my cousin when i spoke to her about it, when i hop into a relationship I'm in it for the long run, not just a one night thing. maybe we weren't on the same page i guess in the end but its just hard to forget about those 8 years like that.

I don't know though. maybe its in my nature to care so much about someone. but then again it would me i was sincere the whole time with my actions right? i mean someone who wasn't would have just been on to the next one right?

I think I'm getting to the point where I'm tired of being single, it doesn't take much to please me, i just ask you to be real and up front with me and loyal and ill definitely do the same. someone who appreciates the small things that usually mean the most, a simple good morning text, a random goodnight call. a mysterious delivery of roses to her home or job just because. seems like those types are becoming a dying breed this day and age so maybe I'm out of luck? who knows.

But let me cut this off right here b/c i feel myself slipping into one of those moods again, until next time.....

What If The Tables Were Turned......?

2011-04-27T13:49:00.004-04:00

So, Ive been hearing a lot of bickering going back and forth between Tyler perry and spike lee as probably others have as well. spike calling his movies coonery and buffoonery and what not. well Tyler was on the mo'nique show last night and he made one good point that stuck out to me.

It seems as if us (the black community) are the only race of people that will tear each other down and ridicule one another which is maybe why we cant move ahead in the world as a whole as other races have.

He said you don't see the Jews down talking and stereotyping Seinfeld or the Italians jeering the soprano's yet when it comes to us we're the only ones who will do that and it's so true. why is that?

It puts me in the mind of this Lupe Fiasco song called "all black everything" basically putting a twist on the whole black and white thing.

What if we (our African ancestors) were never taken from our homes in Africa?

What if we were the ones that wrote and signed the Constitution?

What if there was no civil war?

If we did stay in African would there be such a thing as queens and kings as there are in Europe?

Would Africa be one of the richest continents on earth?

What type of impact would we have had on history and the present right now if that HAD happened?

Just some of the questions that popped into my head after hearing this song over and over and over.

It's really sad that even today we still cant get it together as a whole which is why we're still being talked down about and stereotyped.

I get tired of hearing the same old cliches "we got to do better" and "its time for a change" because that's all it is....talk. no one wants to step up to the plate and be first at bat for that change so until then i guess we'll continue to take steps further back and further back.

It's Just Me.....Again

2011-02-16T15:27:00.004-05:00

I tried to hold off putting this shot up for a while b/c i really had to do some thinking on this one. In my personal opinion i think it's one of the best (and also few) self portraits I've taken of myself in a while.

Like I've said before i really don't like getting in front of the camera sometimes b/c i just feel like I'm not made for it so to speak if that makes any sense.

As you can see i put my little motto up that i came up with a long time ago when i got my first DSLR.

I've gotten many compliments on my work and even been told i have an "eagles eye" when it comes to taking certain kind of shots.

For those who have been following me for the past few years or at least since my last two camera i think can vouch that I've come a long way. learning just about everything about photography by trail and error and studying others work on here and other places.

I'm by no means a professional even if i have all this equipment but this is really the first hobby I've had that I've been THIS passionate about and stuck to for this long.

There isn't a better feeling i get than going back and viewing past shots or events i covered and looking at where I'm at now and being like "damn....i did that" its a plus that others take notice to my work as well, which is why i guess I'm going to be one of my churches official photographers now.

i can only see myself going up from this point in this and other ventures that I'm going to get into.

But this shot right here....i just love it....who knows....maybe it'll be on my business cards one day lol....wishful thinking.

Second Christmas

2011-02-12T17:43:00.005-05:00

So i always think of tax season as a second Christmas for some folks b/c soon as they get that money you see them with new this and new that....just like a second Christmas.

Well it wasn't any exception for me either...that being said i took some of my money and invested it in my photography hobby and upgraded my equipment, ill post some pics at the end. I ended up getting a Canon t1i....15 MP, full HD movie mode@1080 and 720....this makes my THIRD DSLR.

Also went ahead and ordered an external flash, especially needed one for when i shoot certain kind of shots in low light or at night. and lastly i ordered me a 50mm lens...or nifty fifty as their called....along with some other nick knacks. i must say, besides my car this is the second best investment I've made in a long time.

You just have no idea how long I've been wanting this stuff, ESPECIALLY for my family reunion in July up in NY/NJ. So that's why I've been doing a lot of reading up on the subject at hand trying to get as much practice as i can as well as learn new techniques to get the perfect shot every time.

I got a cousin that models and i told her once i get everything, she better be ready b/c I'm going on a shooting spree with her lol.

One thing that's been bothering me though this whole process is that sure i like to take pics of random things but i know a few shots of myself should be included in it but.....for some reason i just don't like taking shots of myself. For some reason i just don't think i was made to be in front of the camera, maybe I'm being hard on myself, i don't know.

But I'm still sticking by my motto "if a picture is worth a thousand words then I'd rather let my camera do the talking for me"......

But other than that everything else has been copesthetic. Still working....3 years with the job in June....had my car for over a year now...and still ain't been late on not one payment....i mean I'm just been blessed all around and plan on keeping it that way for me and my loved ones around me. But as i promised here's a few shots of my new toys and HD video i did.

MLK - In Remembrance

2011-01-17T11:46:00.002-05:00

Well...its been quite a while since Ive updated this thing and quite honestly, i forgot all about it til my friend Jojo reminded me of what my URL to this thing was lol. So i said i would start updating again when time permitted.

I wont get into whats changed between my last post and now, ill just save it for another entry but this one is basically dealing with what today stands for or at least what its SUPPOSE to stand for.

Being that today is MLK's birthday and it usually means parades and a free day off for kids from school but what i want to know is do we really know the true meaning behind all this?

At least how i see it is a day for parades in his honor with is all fine and dandy, but to show up and act out....almost...disrespecting the man and everything he stood for...well then we really don't know what today is all about.

The man preached unity between all brothers and sisters of every race, color, creed, etc etc. Peace to one and all, most importantly non violence.

But yet every other day of the year its violence, violence, violence and its just not in the African American community but everywhere.

Yes we have made alot of progress over time as a people but if this great man was alive today to witness whats going on...what do you think he would say? What would our people who stood with me back in the 50s and 60s during the civil war so we're able to drink from the same water fountains, eat at the same diners, attend the same schools, and most importantly, the right to vote.

Yes we put one day aside to come together and honor a great man but we should be manifesting his practices into reality EVERYDAY.

So again i ask, are we really living his dream out today? or just fooling ourselves for one day and back to business as usual tomorrow?

Hello World

2010-01-10T21:14:00.003-05:00

...it's me again...i...just wanna make love to the whole globe and all her girlfriends.....

I had just about given up on this since i really don't keep up with it anymore but I'm still debating.

But....my last post was the first of December last year. so only a month so it ain't that big of a gap.

But I'm a year older....got a whole heap of love from folks that i really appreciated. although i was a bit bothered that i didn't hear from two people in particular that i consider myself really close to but it wasn't any biggie. i just don't wanna hear no shit when they don't hear from me on their birthdays, buhahahaha!!!!...i kid i kid

Uhhhh i got my credit score up to damn near perfect all within the span of about 6 months, and i didn't even know it went up so high b/c i hadn't check it since like last July. if i would have known it had went up that high i would have saved my money and got that big body 745 or 760, hell maybe even an Mercedes S-class. but I'm keeping this joint for now at least until i pay it off, after that I'm definitely looking into something more "luxurious"

Speaking of my current joint i made my first car note on it last week. 4hunnit and some change. didn't hurt my pockets too bad but it felt good getting it out the way early...about a week ahead of time. now i can concentrate on getting all this sound equipment i done got installed.

I'm still debating if i wanna do rims or not, i mean I'm 24 now, i grew outta that about 3 years ago. but ionno.

i guess lastly is that i been getting deep into my whole photography hobby. i told myself i wanted to start expanding it outside of me just going out randomly and shooting and its starting to happen. had an event i did Friday at the church for the kids that they wanted shots for and that same night one of the ministers came up to me asking me to come to 7:30 service that following Sunday to take pics of him since he was gonna be preaching the sermon.

Cant say i ain't get what i asked for but I'm digging this. hopefully this will open some up some more doors for me since the word is out now about my "hobby".

That's about it for now...guess ill update again in another month?......

Balancing Act

2009-12-01T11:24:00.002-05:00

it seems every time you're up on the seesaw its only a matter of time before you go back down. its kind of hard to balance it out when the other side is weighing you down harder than the part lifting you up.

You might try hard to mask whats really going on behind the scenes but it gets to a point to where it all reaches that critical point and boils over. Well I'm trying not to let it get to that point. its alot of stuff folks know about me and alot they don't. from the outside it may seem my life is just like anyone elses with the minor bump in the road here and there but just like everyone else I've had a flat tire or two as well.

i don't know if y'all may follow where I'm going with this but i guess today is just one of those days where i feel like I'm doing an balancing act. keeping the good and the bad level yet separate. and to be honest for a while i thought these days were over seeing as i haven't had em for quite a while now.

But like i said earlier....when things seem like they're at the top of the mountain, along can come something to knock em down in the valley below.

I refuse to let this seesaw go down tho....that's all i got to say.

On a side note, I'm the owner of a brand new 08' altima...plus I'm getting more hrs at work...so things ain't as bad as they seem but something more dim...i may have to say goodbye to my goatee.....

Still Tickin' And Kickin'

2009-11-07T15:35:00.002-05:00

I know i know, i ain't posted in what seems like a month (actually since the 26Th of last month) but shits been getting pretty busy around here. We slowly getting into peak season at work which means longer hrs...getting up a lil earlier AND most importantly more money.

I actually been working as a part time driver for the last week or so for a few hrs everyday and after seeing the difference on this past paycheck i can only see it getting better from here on out, i love this shit already.

Other than that everything is still everything. i might be in New york one weekend next month since my mom is retired now and we tryna think of a way to do something for her and since my cousin already lives up that way its an idea to surprise her with that, still up in the air tho but we'll see how it goes.

That's really about it. Pulling these 12 plus hour days is starting to catch up with me. Going in at 6 and getting off a lil after 6....sometimes too tired and sore to even eat but i can already see this is all gonna pay off in the end. time to put in that serious overtime.

And just a random thought before i end this....i find that on the weekends when i have something to do i wont spend any money but when i don't have shit to do i tend to spend a whole heap of the stuff....to me that kinda seems ass backwards but ionno.....eh

Peace!

Still Kickin'

2009-10-26T12:00:00.003-04:00

Ain't posted in a lil minute but i ain't really been that busy with anything either. But I'm still kickin'. everything is everything. still workin' still snappin' still......STILL.

Although this past Saturday i did go to an ex co-workers bday party at her parents house WHO also have a fully stocked bar. Well since i haven't drank in a while i said what the hell and got on some gin and juice. the first cup i had my homegirl fixed for me and it was justttttttt right, really only tasted the OJ in it and from that point on i was gone off it for the rest of the night. I had to have drunk at least 5 or 6 cup fulls of it...wasn't even thinking of the consequences.

And by 1am i wasn't feeling any pain either as they say lol, left around 2 got home and went str8 to sleep....but when i woke up Sunday morning....lawd have mercy i was feeling like shit....bad ass headache, upset stomach...all of thee above.

Made it so bad i was watching a "man vs food" marathon on the travel channel and became a lil queasy watching it, had to change the channel at one point. needless to say i didn't make it to church which i was suppose to usher that day or even our ushers board outing afterwards.

But i didn't wanna go and risk the chance of passing out or throwing up which it felt like i would have did if i even stood up outta bed. so i ended up going back to sleep...woke up around 2 feeling 100 times better, upset stomach was gone and headache was just lingering and my appetite had came back.

all in all...i don't think ill be having one of those nights again for a while....at least until my bday....which is in 2 months.

But ima leave this off with something dealing with photography that i haven't done in a while...an HDR...i think i spoke on it once in a past entry way back when but i thought id just post this one for y'all.

Peace.

So Far So Good

2009-10-14T17:53:00.002-04:00

Zamn, seems like everyone I'm following hasn't been blogging as much lately just like me. I guess we all been busy with our lives...which ain't a damn thing wrong with that.

But as for me for the most part shit couldn't be going any better. Work is still smooth sailing, Outside of work is just the same. this past weekend was probably the best weekend I've had in quite a while.

Friday i went to a lil poetry slam at my church...helped em set up the stage and whatnot and man some of them cats who got up and spoke...said some real shit...two of em stuck out to me....one was titled "an unborns plea" basically speaking on abortion and more so the cons on it...the very last line he said was just burned into my memory tho....went something along the lines of.

"well mama, I'm just about done pleading..just about through....but i just wanna say....i lov..."

and it cuts off right there...which I'm pretty sure you can imagine what happened next (speaking from the unborn fetus P.O.V). but man when he said that i literally got chills down my spine.

But the second one was a dude who was caught up in a drug house shoot out a couple months back down here right behind my cousins house. he got shot in the leg and in the head and wasn't even suppose to make it. so he basically gave his testimony on it on how it changed his life.

Saturday was the UM and FAMU game that i went to with the church again and as long as I've been down here I've never been to one of their home games but of course me and 95% of the other folks only went to see the baddest band in the land....FAM's 100....technically b/c when they take the field its more like 400 of em.

But i gotta say they still got it man, sure them canes whooped they ass but when it comes to band and a half time show? its all about FAMU hands down.

Then lastly Sunday after church i went to this lil "clash of the titans" thing...basically a bootleg battle of the bands but FAMU was gonna be there and since i missed their post game performance the night before i had to go see em again and hell they were the best part of the show b/c half of the REAL dade county schools weren't there so it was pretty much boring until they took the field.And best believe when they come back down here in Jan/Feb against BCU im gonna be there....im tryna find out right now where i can get advanced tickets since they go on sale in 2 weeks

But yeah...shit is going pretty good in my neck of the woods and i can only hope the same goes for y'all who read this. Suppose to be going out with a friend this weekend...just gotta find out which day we suppose to be taking my moms out for her retirement dinner usually i would post a few pics at the end of this but i been snapping so much lately i don't wanna drown this out so ill just post the link to my flickr for anyone who wants to take a gander.

Til next time...y'all BEZ....peace

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tre305/

Whoaaaaaaaaaaa/another photo dump

2009-10-02T18:43:00.006-04:00

Feel like i ain't been on this joint in some months when i really ain't posted in only a few weeks but what can i say? Everything is everything. Still doing the usual, working, with a bit of photography on the side which by the way ill post a few flicks at the end of this.

Other than that...hmm...ion really know...i guess the only but of news is that i WILL be getting a new whip at the start of next year. And depending on how the money is looking my top choice right now still stands at a BMW 745 but if that don't work out then i got some back ups.

Work is str8. Going a hell of alot better than it was a few weeks ago and stemming from my past entries.

But yeah.....shit i think that's about it. so i guess ill cut it short here and leave y'all with a few flicks....plus i think these 2 items here are gonna be my next purchases since i ain't really spent any money on myself in a while

Peaceeeeeeeeeeee

Revisited

2009-09-18T19:43:00.003-04:00

Ionno if i ever posted up any of my past photoshop work.i might have but i was just going thru a folder with some pieces i did when i was into it and came across one that stood out to me now as much as it did back then when i did it....

i don't remember how long it took me to do this but i know i finished it the same day i started it...all by following a lil tutorial from a site. that's all i would do really is browse different forums and sites that had different tutorials, find ones i liked...opened up photoshop and got to work. some took longer than others but i always liked the end results and i would always try to put my own spin on it as well.

But its pretty funny tho....lookin' back on some old old ass pics i took when i had my point and shoot camera. couldn't help but say to myself "gotdamn nigga wtf was you taking pics of?" now that i got an DSLR i look and say "gotdamn nigga what WONT you take a pic of?" lol....that shit is just funny to me.

ionno what happened to that creative side to me...i think i still got it...just instead of it being in photoshop i hold it up to my face every chance i get (my camera) but i cant help but wonder if i still got it in me to crack photoshop back open and go on a trail run and see what happens.......

Boucing Back

2009-09-11T16:52:00.002-04:00

Yeah....i think I'm finally starting to get back into the "old" me....been feeling alot better as of lately, job and other shit ain't stressing me so much and i think my stomach is really appreciating that as well.

Seems like ma dukes is getting ready to call it quits from the post office after 40 years of service....yeah "40" years. she'd got the age and years so she's getting out while the gettin's good so ion blame her.

Started making me think tho...about how much of a reflection i am of her....she started off with the post office when she was young....well i KINDA started off with UPS while I'm still young.....she worked inside all her career...I'm working inside as of right now...we both clerks. she was in it for the long haul....I'm hoping to stick to this for the long haul as well. try and get up there where she at...i don't know how long this company expects you to work...besides that guy from MI who retied after 63 years I've only seen guys down here go out after 25-35 years.

But either way I'm hoping to fill those shoes and follow the same footsteps as her but only god knows whats gonna happen for certain but i guess we'll see.

And since I'm still on this bouncing back phase i think ima cut this short and hop on the xbox for a lil L4D (left 4 dead) session. i think i might even hit up a few spots for some flick(r)'s this weekend too.

Peace.

Sidebar: Shout out to three six mafia for this song...well beat. when an artist can sample an old school hook, beat, vocals, etc etc and do it just right....that shit is just beautiful.

Out of my element

2009-09-04T14:54:00.002-04:00

I'd say for the pass month or so i just really haven't been feeling like myself. i cant quite pin point it but Ive gone a few days where i didn't eat...a few nights of restless sleep. i don't know what to call it but i don't really like it. i kind of have an idea on what it is....but id rather not speak on it right now.

I do know for a fact that my job has part to do with this. See for us "peak season" doesn't start until usually Nov/Dec but since July its felt like we're already in it. and since one of the top clerks is out on "new mommy" leave a whole lot of pressure has been put on me to take up the slack since i guess i can consider myself the second best.

i went from doing maybe 10 different jobs everyday to now doing 30. and the shit that just gets me is that once i start doing one job i hear my name being called for something else "trab! we got this over here for you!" "trab! got some wet wets for you!"...BTW...wet wets = wet or leaking packages.

Added on to that a whole heap of pressure is on me at around 10 minutes before the drivers head out which is usually about the time we're finishing up unloading the trailers, getting the last few packages corrected if they have problems etc etc. but it always seems....around that time...while I'm in my work area these dumb ass co-workers bring me a push cart full of packages that are either busted all open, a lil wet...leaking...etc etc.

Now the kicker to all of this is...they expect me...one person...to get all this shit done...all the while possibly being pulled away from it to do something else....or another driver or supervisor bringing me a package that needs an address correction....ALL before 9am.....

Cmon man....that shit has been weighing heavy on me basically since this girl went on leave. everything falls on me. but.....its like i been telling myself. they said they gave me all of this b/c I'm a hard worker...depenable....etc etc which yeah i am.

But i keep hearing "yeah we gotta hire somebody else for this and that" to take some of the pressure off me. but yet ion see no action. when you got damn near 20 packages being left behind almost everyday..some being next day airs (those HAVE to go out the same day no matter what)....then we got a problem.

Its like a blessing and a curse....the more you know...the more they demand from you...which is why sometimes i wish i didn't know as much as i do....then i think about the consequences....maybe i wouldn't be making as much as i do right now....damn shol wouldn't have the rank i do right now...and damn shol wouldn't be getting the hours.

But hey...all of this comes with the territory so i cant even complain (contradicting to all the shit i just typed out huh?). as folks within the company been telling me...stick with it cuz it'll all pay off in the end. we'll see.....

Photo Dump

2009-08-25T15:26:00.005-04:00

Ain't done one of these in a while so here we go...

Other than that...its been business as usual. work, a lil photography on the side when granted. Same old same old just patiently waiting for peak season at work to roll around so i can really start to rake in the big bucks. Hopefully I'm on the right road to rekindling an situation with someone who was/still is close to me. But that's a story for another blog...which ill probably put up at another time. But for now...peace

It's been a good week

2009-08-14T19:22:00.002-04:00

Compared to last week this week was a complete turn around in and out of work. been getting off at least an hour early although i would have loved to have stayed and got a full days work....when it ain't shit to do what can you do? my check still lookin' nice either way.

Speakin'of money, i went on ahead and gave into the devil's temptation and got a credit card,kinda late in the credit game but I'm on my grind for this BMW 745, and along with stashing some folding money away I'm tryna raise my credit score as well and at the rate I'm going right now i should be close to the 700's by early next year. that'd be real nice walking onto the lot and driving off all within an hour but only time will tell.

But its been some crazy shit going on down here lately, everything from a lady at a local mall setting herself on fire and just calmly walking out to a 20 year taco bell working being shot and killed as she opened the store for no apparent reason to brisco (the rapper) getting rob for his chains and his range rover at a barbershop. me and a couple of other guys at work were talking about it at work and it seems like these days its almost mandatory to where you gotta have some protection on you cuz you just never know when it might go down.

Could be you...someone close to you....anybody but shit is just crazy out there which got me thinking hard lately about coppin something. my cousin already got her a glock here and i could probably use her law enforcement discount and get one for a good price but then id have to get my CCW and all that cuz id damn shol ride around with it.

It's just like I've heard elders talk of....how they used to have a gun in every room of the house,i know that ain't really "OK" today with all the "accidents" that can happen but shit when it comes down to it you almost need to go back to that b/c like i said you just never know......

But I'll leave this at that, i feel a headache coming on and I'm about to hop back into this resident evil 5 and try to beat it tonight plus i gotta get up early in the morning. me and a couple of co-workers going over to this school to help em build a baseball fiend and raise some money..all thru the job......"what can brown do for you" huh?

I Remember

2009-08-05T14:19:00.004-04:00

...when i always wanted to get a letter in the mail with my name on it.....now most days i HOPE nothing comes with my name on it.

when i scared as hell to get behind the wheel b/c i might crash the car....now i still don't think I've got the gas off my chest.

when i always wondered what life would be like after i got outta high school......now its just getting better day by day.

just some random shit i had floating around in my head for the past week or so.
here's a random candid or two......just for shits and giggles.

Untitled

2009-07-22T14:44:00.002-04:00

Well damn, my last post was on July 8Th and here it is almost the end of the month, well i guess that's b/c once again i really ain't got shit to post about. But then again i find myself slacking on this and the Internet as a whole lately. kinda like I'm coming to the very end of it. i remember a time i used to spend hours on end browsing different sites, now....i only frequent maybe 4 or 5 a day and after that I'm either sleeping or on the xbox

speaking of which I'm finally back on this game fly shit. got tony hawks proving ground and dead space the other day, i think ima send tony hawk back tomorrow cuz i just cant get into that but this dead space game is pretty interesting, kinda reminds me of bioshock except this takes place in space instead of the bottom of the ocean.

on another reflection i find myself living the title of an old o'jays song "living for the weekend". working 5 days a week, some days on only a few hours sleep just to get to Friday and then for 2 days...distant myself from reality but dreading when i have to go back to it on Monday.

But one thing...i enjoy the hell outta them two days. but speaking of em, seems like the past few weekends I've been hitting up the movies. first we went to see angels and demons....then transformers and since i owed her one we went to see my sisters keeper this past weekend. and all ill say about that is....it was cool....no need of going into the regular cliches and what not.

But for the most part i like the way things are going for me right now. i cant complain about not one thing. but yeah i just wanted to hit y'all up (the ones who do keep up with this and my post) with somewhat of an update and just let it be known that I'm still alive and kickin'.

Sidebar: i just saw the preview for "orphan"....GOTTA see that shit when it hits theaters

Another Sidebar: IMO i think this Micheal Jackson video was probably the most creative for its time....before the outkast's and kanye west's and others.

Michael Jackson - Leave Me Alone (Official Music Video) - More free videos are here

Peace.....

M.I.A

2009-07-08T16:10:00.002-04:00

Damn, i been missing from around these parts for a good minute. i guess i just ain't really had anything to speak on that's been going on lately. but like everybody else been saying since June 25Th....RIP to the king of pop.

But other than that i did finally go outta town to my family reunion in elberton, GA and i must say i really enjoyed myself. getting back to my country roots felt real good and since I'm a country boy at heart i felt right at home.

Good times for those 4 days and i needed em but now I'm back to what i always do and that's making money. and for those who browse my blog....2011 we taking it to NY/NJ....got a cousin that lives in Brooklyn i believe.

Right now i gotta work on getting my passport cuz we going on a cruise next year.

So life is pretty great right now, i cant complain about a thing really and in case you were wondering, yes i did take a shitload of pics while i was up there.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tre305/

check em out if you want.....until the next time.....

Reflection

2009-06-21T14:24:00.002-04:00

So despite it being Father' day today, i woke up this morning with a heavy heart so to speak so ill just jump right into it.

Seems like a girl i been talking to since like Jan. that i thought i was on the same page with.....left me in the dark and now all of a sudden has a boyfriend, ion really wanna go into too much detail but not much really gets to me, but the one thing that will get under my skin is leading me on/leaving me in the dark. its getting kinda redundant for me to be putting it all on the line and getting shit in return but "i ain't mean for it to happen like this". so maybe the nice guy role Ive been playing for the past 23 years of my life has played itself out. maybe the "asshole" role might be a better fit.....

And since today is father's day i was in church with my mama and the whole service was moving, and for the first time since i can recall i been in church it actually got to me, and when i say it got to me...is i actually shed a few tears. only reason it got to me is b/c i had so many thoughts running thru my mind. i don't know my dad, last time i spoke to him was before i graduated high school. didn't have much male influence in my life growing up besides my grandpa but he passed when i was 6 or 7, so i basically been raised by the women in my family. ain't nothing wrong with that but the cliche of it all is "certain things only a man can teach a boy"....well, i ain't have that.

So i started thinking to myself, what if I'm a reflection of my father? if he couldn't even take the time out to reach out to me every once in a while just to see how I'm doing, what makes me think i wouldn't do the same when I'm a father one day? I just feel like i got so much built up pain, sorrow, anguish, even resentment. even right now as I'm typing this I'm fighting to hold back the tears.

Its been a while since I've felt like this but i guess its better to let it out than hold it in as they say. i guess sometimes i just wish i had the chance to spend a lil bit more time with him. no bday cards let alone phone calls.....nothing....i wonder if he even knows I'm still around.

I'm the type to hardly ever show any emotion....but during the song "you are the wind beneath my wings" this morning i guess it just all came up.....

but in the end....all of this has made me the man i am today which is a plus. so i cant be too mad or upset....i just wish....i had that bond with him.....

And Yet Again...

2009-06-17T16:42:00.002-04:00

Another pic drop off. just some shit i took over the pass couple of weeks, nothing special really but enjoy i guess

don't mind the music either, as many of you know I'm somewhat of an old head and this song just puts me in the mind of Georgia for some reason.....might as well start getting ready for the trip early.....2 more weeks....2 more weeks....

A Milestone....Of Sorts....

2009-06-11T17:41:00.002-04:00

A year ago today i officially signed my hire papers with UPS, and a year later on this day im still holding in there strong, and as you can tell from these shoes that brought me this far....it wasnt an easy journey.....but as I've heard....its all downhill from here on out and i hope that's true.

And with this moment at least for me means i can also put in my vacation time which I'll do tomorrow so with that the countdown to Georgia has begun........20 more days....yessuh.

Somehing I Aint...

2009-06-09T14:46:00.002-04:00

Done in a good minute....a ventage entry.

But before i start this off this is in no way a "pew pew pew" for a lack of term, just an observation.
and that observation being, that some folks really need to learn to B.A.F.K (back away from the keyboard). i know we live in a technology driven era but some just done got too entangled in it. too many "outlets" to become someone "else". i like to call it "wireless schizophrenia".

Some folks just seem to turn into a different person when they're online. act up, show out, clown, etc etc. shit is just funny yet mindboggling to me all at the same time. you may claim you're this and that online but offline you're probably more mute than a deaf person.

Then......when they're card is pulled from the deck they either 1. do a disappearing act or 2. defend it to the death. either way the truth always comes out in the end. but after being on this shit for the better part of my childhood, i can say nothing really amazes me anymore.

I can say ive seen it all and probabaly done most of it, aint ashamed of it but its kinda like coming to the end of its rope. just seems like one big ass cycle with the same redudant trends, topics, sayings, etc etc.
same shit new toilet. ionno when it'll stop...doubt if it ever will but its just becoming less and less
interesting to me everyday.

Ill never say ill STOP using the internet but i definitely dont see myself on these "community" websites too much longer.....

Just an observation....

Too Close to Home....Again

2009-06-07T14:29:00.002-04:00

So ill just set the scenario....Tuesday night/Wednesday morning last week, a house behind my cousins house also known as a dope hole is invaded. two guys come up....go inside, do whatever...come out and leave.....no more than 15 minutes later....someone(s) come back....knock on the door....soon as its opened "BOOM" first person is shot in the head and killed....they run in....kill a 23 year old pregnant girl and shoot 2 other people who survived.

My whole point is...just when i was starting to think this area ain't so bad as it seems to be this comes along...ain't no use in going on with the cliche "this gotta stop and yada yada yada" cuz every area has the same problems weather they're known or not. shit just hits close to home b/c alotta my people knew em and it could have easily been somebody i knew over there that night caught in the line of fire.

Shit is just sickening to me sometimes i swear.....but what can you do.....like one small flame of light working against a sea of water....

But on a lighter note, yesterday was pretty nice, ended up at the park with my cousins and some folks from church, should have took my camera and took a few pics since it was hella nice out there but its always next time i guess.

I told myself when i woke up i wasn't really feeling like myself and so far its kinda holding up to that but i ain't gonna let it stop anything, still alive, still kickin', still breathin', still here.....cant complain. I'm content with errything right now so its all good.

Ill just leave this on a good note with something i like to call my anti-drug which you should already know what that is.....

Still Around

2009-05-31T21:01:00.003-04:00

Haven't been posting up much but I'm still around....just....been doing me i guess, living and learning and on twitter a lil bit too much.

But ain't really no huge updates either, cept for all the damn rain....thought today would be different since the sun was out for most of the day but soon as i was about to step out the door to go to a ceremony at the church..BAM....crackling of thunder...dark as hell outside...wind starting to whip up...basically twister weather (although there wasn't one).

But so far life has been good, tomorrow will make 10 more days until ill have my first full year with UPS...which means i can put in my vacation time for my family reunion in July.

Still stashing away for a new whip.....which is going better than i thought....i may have aimed too high with a BMW 745 but who knows come Nov/Dec.

I did go see angels and demons last night (basically a sequel to the da vinci code). it was pretty dope. basically science vs. religion. made a good point on how science kinda dismisses religion to a certain extent....but how religion got payback on those who questioned its rulings....id recommend it if your into those type of movies but then again....i ain't no ordinary negro.

But yeah...I'm just feeling kinda good right now. not stressing over anything, not trippin' over anything....just living for the moment. and with that...ill just leave y'all with some shots i took last week....til next time....BEZ

Well Damn...

2009-05-22T14:28:00.002-04:00

With every post i feel myself having less and less to talk about, ionno. i have noticed a few others who haven't posted in a while so ion feel too put the loop but just ain't really been shit going on with me....lol....everytime i say that shit something always pop up in my head like bam

I have been tryna go cold turkey on alotta shit i used to eat to turn over a new leaf of sorts since i found out my blood pressure was kinda up last week when i went for a check up. so far i done cut out soda's completely. only vitamin water, bottled water and them Arizona juices now. only kinda chips I'm eating now are sun chips, and the only meal i eat almost on a daily basis is a salad. i know it ain't gonna happen over night but i cant follow the same path as my uncles and cousins in my family (high blood pressure, hyper tension, diabetes, etc).

But yeah...with that being the only bit of an update to share with y'all....i guess ill just leave y'all with this....and don't worry, i share lol.

Certified

2009-05-16T16:45:00.002-04:00

Feel like i ain't did one of these joints in a lil minute, but then again ain't much been going on. the only bit of news i got is that I've been in a training class for my job for the past two days and after a final exam yesterday I'm a certified hazmat responder for my hub. only thing i have to do now is take an respiratory physical exam.

I don't know if this means more money or not (i hope it does) but if the situation ever comes up that i do have to deal with some kind of bio-hazard or hazardous material, its a long and tedious process i gotta go thru to clean it up and file all the paperwork which would mean more hours on the clock for me but ill find out Monday.

Looks like ima be with this company for a long time now....which i don't mind.

-Peace

-Fin

In God We Trust

2009-05-12T14:22:00.002-04:00

So my uncle laid on me and my folk a new line this pass mothers day....."If you got that IN GOD WE TRUST" they'll give you whatever you want, which i do believe is true b/c in all actuality money does talk when it comes to certain things.

But I'm starting to realize (finally) that money ain't everything. yeah it can buy you stuff, but when it comes down to it. that "stuff" is only temporary. cant take it with you when you leave this earth (although you can be buried with it but wtf is the point of that? 0_o)

All I'm really saying is, i see people tryna apply for jobs ALREADY having one simply for the fact that its an extra dollar on the paycheck, i ain't knocking it or anything, by all means get it how you live. but to me, i might not be making the money i WANNA be making right now but ima stay where I'm at b/c i know i WILL be making that money soon.

I wouldn't risk leaving one job that i done built up a rep in and going into something else where they could easily pink slip you and walk you to the door and hire the person that walks in after you and then your back to square one.

Ionno that's just my view on it

Ive spoken my peace.

-Fin

Sidebar: shout out to Judy for putting this thought into my head

Early Mothers Day

2009-05-09T11:30:00.003-04:00

Got her these plus that biggie movie she been wanting to see. Funny she asked me what i was gonna get her and i just played it off, she really had no idea. I may have broke the bank for her with all this but it was worth every cent.

other than that ain't been too much else going on, went and saw next day air yesterday with some folks from the job. it was pretty good except for the ending. that was pretty fucked up with the message and all behind it. but it was something id rather had waited to hit DVD, or bootlegged it, one.

Oh yeah...these shits right here?....better than sex....well almost

But that's about it for now, bout to go hit up a few car lots, i need a new set of wheels

-Peace

-Fin

Detoured.....Again

2009-04-30T17:37:00.003-04:00

I had a lil nice entry all typed up and waiting to be posted but now here i am re-typing it over after having a lil talk with mom dukes and my cousin about this whole corrections thing. i aint gonna go all off into it but it seems they tryna save me some trouble and detour me off of it. warning me of all the stuff that could and will happen, most of which i already knew and i know they only looking out for me. but im starting to think maybe it aint the right move RIGHT now at least. i think in a way i was kinda blinded by the thought of the money but yet it wasnt just about that to me, i liked the idea of wearing that patch on my arm that said "department of corrections" the idea of up holding the law. but they gave me a serious reality check that im just letting marinate right now in my head so i really dont know what im going to do. Moms always telling me how UPS drivers that come to her job always tell her to tell me to stick with it so in the back of my head it looks like thats what i may just do. im blessed to have a job right now either way no matter what the pay. so even tho i may be at the bottom of the barrel right now, i know all the hard work i put in thus far will pay off in the long run. i guess like she said "dont put money ahead of your life". Other than that. everything is everything i guess. nothing else really been going on. so i guess ill just cut it off here, maybe leave yall with something i do in my spare time which most of you should know by now.....

-sigh-

2009-04-23T14:54:00.002-04:00

Well the end of another week is upon us. and its been an already one for me, just really what it is "another week" i ain't gonna bore y'all this time around and probably wont even be that long...i hope.

I had jury duty Monday....well i didn't have to report til Tuesday and i was basically the first one there. got in, signed in, all of that, they started playing some videos of the history of the court house and shit, then they finally called the first group of people they needed for a case which i was included in. thought i would be in for even more of a boring time til we got in the courtroom and heard what the case was about, it was just an civil case dealing with one person tryna get money outta the other person so they could pay their medical bills and shit from the accident.

The guy that was tryna get the money, his lawyer wasn't on anything, dude was boring the hell outta me and everybody else. but the other dude....who ain't speak a lick of English, his lawyer which was a young lady, she came busting out the gates ret' to go. and once they picked the panel and the case started, i swear it was like watching an live episode of perry mason. they called one of the doctors in the defendant had saw, mannnnnnnn after his lawyer got done asking him question, she pounced on him like a tiger, went in so hard, had him turning so red in the face he has to stop and ask the judge for a glass of water. hell even the judge herself was amazed by her.

I wanted to get her info just in case me or anybody else i knew got into some shit but when we were dismissed for the day, the next day one of the clerks called me and told me they had settled outta court so we ain't have to come back, in the back of my mind i was like "DAMN!" cuz i really did wanna go back for round 2. plus my homgirl was on the panel with me that i ain't seen in about a good 3 years.

But that shit was interesting to see first hand how it all actually goes down. but I'm free now for another 12 months if they decide to pull my number again.

Other than that, that was pretty much the highlight of my week. although i did wanna speak on one thing, dealing with family. its funny how you can feel like the black sheep.....when your not even doing anything but yet still feel like your being labeled when other family members are doing whole lot more worse shit than they THINK you are.

For example, my mama told me a few days ago that one of my lil cousins around the corner from me got in trouble b/c he ran from the police to his grandma house on a stolen moped. now i haven't heard much of a big deal about this, and i doubt i will at the party tomorrow night. but its just mind boggling to me that just b/c i don't have a police record for the lack of better words, that I'm in someway not as good as the rest of em.

I ain't no thug, i don't run the streets each and every day, i don't go around knocking over old ladies for they numbers money. so what the hell is the problem where they cant never be happy for me? they may seem like it but i already know I'm talked about behind my back, not that it matters to me but its funny at the same time but hey, i'll just continue to do what i do. it'll all pay off in the long run.

That's about it for now tho, guess i ran over more than i wanted to but dah well, those who do take the time out to read this i shol do appreciate it.

-Fin

-Peace

R.O.O.T.S

2009-04-18T16:01:00.005-04:00

I ain't been up too much up on the new music lately, besides me downloading both gorilla zoe and flo rida's new albums i haven't even downloaded rick ross album yet. but to get to the point of this entry, i was browsing WSHH (worldstarhiphop) and came across a new video from him for a song called "on and on". if your from Florida you'll recognize the beat right away since alotta other rappers have used it and probably know that its originally from Eamon.

but it had to listen to the joint twice before i started liking it. it ain't your usual bang bang shoot em up, i sold more bricks than you, my rims bigger than yours type song. it actually has a message behind it, which most songs do but after listening to this and a few other joints from his CD. he's really telling a story of how he came up and made it to what he is/at today.I dont think he's like most rappers who get a lil fame and do a complete 360 on everyone they knew and where they knew so for that i gotta commend dude. and plus i kinda like the concept of the video...the whole animated scarp book thing.

but yeah, enjoy

And Another One

2009-04-16T18:52:00.003-04:00

I was gonna throw out some random thoughts once again in this entry but i nixed it at the last minute b/c between getting slapped with a jury duty summons at the start of the week and seeing my homeboy (a supervisor) almost throw down with with another co-worker.....this week has been pretty boring. i wish i still had my lil cousins down here at least for one more week. but instead i think i I've come down with the flu...............the photography flu...cuz I'm gettin' sick with it!

i kid i kid....I'm modest. hell ion even think I'm an average amateur considering I've been into it now for a good year and a half and learned everything i know by trail and error, but i guess you good folks who take the time out to browse my blog can be the judge.

Sidebar: anybody wanna redo my layout for me?
im starting to get tired of this on here...

Almost Over

2009-04-11T14:00:00.002-04:00

Well, its been one hell of a week with my lil cousins visiting, so let me see if i can sum it all up with a day by day blow.

Saturday Night - they got in and went str8 to the club (my older cousin and her sister

Sunday - shit ion remember

Monday - We went to the skating rink which was cool, not too crowded, ain't skated since i was a lil jit but it was fun

Tuesday - Dave&Busters...that's gonna be my new kick it spot for happy hour cuz them commercials did it no justice at all. all i can say is if you got one in your city and yeen been there yet, get there ASAP

Wednesday - Went back to the skating rink but i guess it must have been kids day cuz that joint was packed wall to wall with em. half of em couldn't skate, half of em on the floor w/o skates on and i was tempted as hell to put my foot out in front of one of em and let gravity take care of the rest.

Thursday - we hit up south beach to take the kids to the water, i enjoyed it. got some shots which ill post at the end of this.

Friday - Went to Bahama Breeze for my cousins birthday, fucked up some jerk chicken pasta and got fucked up on screw drivers and vodka shots. had to go home and recuperate then later on we went to the fair to end the night since this is the last week its open. that was pretty fun, had about two elephant ears, a gyro and some chicken wings and fries. didn't go on any rides cuz i still had that liquor in me and i ain't wanna risk any slip ups. but i did wanna go on this one joint called "mega drop" but that line was way around the corner for that...so maybe next year.

Today - i kinda woke up with a slight hang over so i opt'd out to go to the water park with em which is why I'm here now typing this up. if they up to doing something after they come back from there ill probably go with em which i hope they are since they leaving tomorrow.

but that about sums up the whole week thus far. so ill just leave you with the visual effects of it.

I Think Im Losing It

2009-04-03T18:25:00.002-04:00

Well...maybe not but i was a lil stressed out earlier( hence the song), ill just name off the 3 main factors.....work, mama, and this whole traffic school thing. i pushed that shit off for way too long and ion want it to catch up with me so i went on ahead and signed up for an 4 hour online course that ima work on over the weekend.

I think me and this camera gonna be quite busy this weekend and all of next week since my lil cousins will be here in the morning, ain't seen em since...'04 i believe. gotta show em a good time and take it as an opportunity to freshen up on my camera skills so be on the look out for an picture blog sometime soon.

And to my fellow flawda-ains...fuck is up with this heat man? well since I'm so close to the water we been getting a lil breeze but got damn i swear the devil himself was working next to me for like 2 days earlier this week. hell one of my homgirls had an asthma attack and damn near passed out. when the humidity % surpasses the air temp at got damn 5:30 in the morning....then you know there's a problem.

Speaking of problems...you ever seen a chihuahua chase after am hummer? that's some down right America's funniest home videos type shit. this lil muthafucka was running too like he knew he would catch it.....or die trying.

On another note....i talked to Judy about this earlier...ionno get some people. i wont go into details but they gotta be wearing one hell of a mask to hide the sad, pitiful, waste of space they call a life. i mean they may think they hurting you but 9 times outta 10 they not even on your mind. HAWHAW!

But yeah...i been jumping from one subject to another with this entry, kinda like the same way i been jumping on and off the 360....been playing medal of honor: airborne. ionno why but i dig them old war time games but this shit here...took me a good week to beat the first mission smh. I'm on the last one now....ima try to beat it tonight cuz i know i wont get a chance until the week after next.

But uhhh...yeah i think that about covers this weeks wrap up. til next time.....

-Fin

Peace

You Got Picture Mail

2009-03-29T09:27:00.002-04:00

Haven't done one of these in a while. and i haven't really been that busy with my camera lately anyway but for those that do browse my blog from time to time, i thought id share what work i have done lately.

-Fin

Peace

Untitled 3-25-09

2009-03-25T12:12:00.002-04:00

Well this one ain't got a title b/c i ain't really speaking on anything this go around, so this might be short as hell. but on a not so light note. its only the middle of the week and I'm ready for the weekend already, well i was actually ready for the weekend Monday but two more days.

But on a lighter note.....it feels good as hell getting all ya hours at work....when its work to be done and you the only person that knows how to do it. its worth putting up with the bullshit, next week check fixin to be fatter than a swamp possum with the mumps!

But on another not so lighter note. i was talking to my close friend Jojo yesterday while she was on her way home from work. all of a sudden i just hear her saying "oh shit oh shit" over and over and I'm like, "whats going on?" she was at a stop light in front of a burger king, and said all of a sudden folks busted outta there running in all directions then like 2 seconds later she heard gunshots going off. so of course I'm pretty sure she peeled out. and as i tuned into the news about an hour later it was breaking news. turns out two dudes ran in with ski masks on trying to stick it up. little did they know there was a dude in there with a CCW permit and he pulled his piece out and confronted em. gun shots erupt. one of the robbers is hit and killed, dude with the CCW is hit multiple times and taken to the hospital, I'm still assuming he's probably in serious condiditon but still alive.

All in all, I'm glad she was OK b/c don't know glass stop a bullet, but it just makes me think about how tough it is out there right now. i still cant get over the fact when they interviewed one young dude, i guess he was related to the deceased robber, he was like "mannnnn they ain't have to do that man like that"....fuck outta here, he chose to go up in there tryna get some fast cash to go and go GOT in the end. i ain't got no sympathy for him or the other dude that got away. and like they said, they hailing the other guy as a hero b/c shit could have been alot worse.

i tell ya, cant even go get a whopper junior with cheese cut in half without worrying about being robbed anymore.

We in the last days y'all.....

-Fin

Peace

High Hopes

2009-03-19T18:08:00.002-04:00

What up fellow bloggers, well its been a hell of a week, glad tomorrow is Friday which brings another pay day and two days off to bullshit. actually for the past few days as some of y'all know, i been dealing with some kinda allergic reaction that caused my eyes to swell up on me, nothing major but the first day i was looking like Forrest Whitaker in "the last king of Scotland". ionno what could have caused it. my mama thinks it could have been the fish i got from the take out spot up the street, but i think it was cuz of this guy that's remodeling my bathroom, when he gutted it out i think the dust or something started fucking with my eyes cuz i was rubbing the hell outta em that night, woke up for work and they was droopy as hell but all that done subsided now aside from a lil itchiness in my right eye but visine taking care of that.

But in other news, i been going back and forth with this whole car thing, was suppose to get one last year but my plans didn't work out the way i wanted em too, but now that I'm in a better position....I'm finally starting to turn the gears towards getting one. I'm giving myself til the end of November and my number one choice WAS a charger but i decided to go the route of my mama and shoot for the grand daddy of em, nah not a caddy.....a BMW 745....Li. yeah.....way up there right? but if i calculated right and i stick to my plans ill have way more than enough for a down payment.

Now as excited as ill be when that day comes, IF i can pull it off, one thing that is in the back of my mind is security. i ain't saying my area is a BAD area, but i mean ain't no Bentley's and phantoms and Maserati's rolling thru either. i mean its already one bimmer in the yard, and if i were to make it too, i probably still wouldn't feel too keen even having it parked outside my bedroom window. but....cant be thinking about that right now. as jay-z would say "I'm focused mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn". so yeah, wish me luck on that.

Other than that, ain't really shit else going on. Finally got some rain down here since like....i wanna say December but ionno. nice change but it makes a lil bit more work for me...at work...since water and cardboard don't mix well.

Well, that's about it for now, just a lil update i guess. think ima play grandpa and pop me a benadryl and take my ass to sleep.

-Fin

Peace

Simple Living

2009-03-13T19:11:00.005-04:00

i think ima take a tip from the homie Naki and break this up into sections so i ain't all over the place.

BULLsession:

well i was talking to Jojo earlier and i was telling her how I'm saving up right now for a new whip. and we got into the whole credit and credit card thing. this woman is real knowledgeable when it comes to anything dealing with money and she really gave me some useful tips/information that ima definitely keep in mind when i do decide to up and get a whip and if i ever decide to get a credit card. gotta play it smart with them things b/c they can lead to alotta trouble real fast. i was just debating if it was even for me b/c it seemed like a hassle (as far as what your gonna use it for and keep tabs on it) b/c cmon.....its like getting a new car, you gonna wanna test its limits and see how far you can go with it but you cant always give into temptation either.....we'll see tho. she also gave me alot of info on different retirement plans and broke down investing in stocks into a way that even a 1 year old could understand. i swear this girl gonna have me looking real nice when i do retire one day.

Simple Living:

Sometimes i just think....i must be simple as hell....not in a bad way but just like, i prefer my comfort zone more than anything, don't roam too fat from it.I'm laid back, chill, calm, collected...etc etc. like i talk to folks and i see how deep they are into music, shoes, fashion, sports. all this shit but when it comes to me. i feel like i really cant relate or put my 2 cents in b/c I'm not that deep into any of it or i don't know much/enough.

i don't know if that can be a bad thing or what but some might call it naive. i used to think that term was just negative in all ways but now i think it might be good in some ways as where i don't partake in certain things that would cause a controversy, i.e DRAMA. like i guess i shield myself in a way from it so i wont have to deal with it. i guess that could be good in a way.....right? or am i just really simple?

One Liners:

So i know we all probably have a song that has one line or lyric that speaks alot of truth to you, weather it be from a rap, R&B, old school, or gospel song. well mines i would have to take from Mr. Curtis Mayfield's - Move On Up. and that line would be "remember your dream is your only scheme so keep on pushing". that one line stands out to me b/c when you think about it, that's how it all starts right? from a dream or idea.....take that and run with it and hopefully it'll all pay off for you thru hard work and determination. i don't know....i tend to listen to that song at least once a day just to tell myself to keep at it b/c i know it'll all be worth it in the end.

New Addition(s):

So it seems lately this mother and her two pups have claimed our backyard as they're own. and i mean like they really defend it. every time someone walks by on the sidewalk on the side or in front of the house the two pups go to barking and u swear yesterday they were in the front yard outside my window and started barking, i don't know if it was another dog or somebody walking by but when i looked out the window all i saw was the mama dog charging at someone/something. i did say i wanted to get another dog but damn i ain't think i would get three. but who knows how long they'll stay but its nice to have a lil live house alarm.

Everybody Got A Friend

2009-03-07T12:45:00.003-05:00

Like this.....I'm sure....lmao

Bo Hagons Phone Call - Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz

Well i probably don't but i do know of someone who just seems to try too damn hard....always up in a conversation tryna put in they two cents, and to put the icing on a cake....wanna say something funny then have a laugh so got damn annoying.....it just don't make any sense. like you'd rather hear nails on a chalkboard than that shit. just unfuckingforgivable.

but...in other news...well shit ain't no other news really. i got my moms new notebook last week which ill post a shot or two at the bottom, and i must say she loves that damn thing, and for someone who's never really used a computer before she took to it like a fish to water. but even i loved it so much that i have my very own, on its way and will have it next Wednesday. only difference is, i have a copy of ubuntu that I'm gonna switch out for vista. i like the whole interface is has since its damn near exact to a mac.

but yeah other than that...everything is everything. woke up with a lil headache not too long ago. and I'm hungry as hell too right now. so i think ima cut this short and go eat these pancakes and bacon and hop into some COD5....ill catch y'all on the next go around

-Fin

Peace

Dont You Wish...

2009-03-01T14:18:00.003-05:00

TDD - Trick Daddy

You had a voicemail like this sometimes? for them folks you don't feel like being bothered with?
that'd be the best thing since.....hell ionno, shit would be dope tho.

Whats up folks. Hope y'all had a good weekend, cant say that i really did but i enjoyed it....enjoyed getting over the last lil bit of cold i was dealing with all last week. so i hope ill be back to normal come tomorrow, although were scheduled for another cold snap but i ain't gonna take any chances with it this time around cuz i don't wanna go thru this mess again.

aint too much to talk about this time around.....i did decide to surprise my mama with a notebook that she been wanting forever and a day, so now ima have to teach her how to use it, but for the price i got it for. i think ima save up for about 3 weeks and go back and get me one so i can finally install this ubuntu OS CD i done had for well over a year now.

I was tryna plan a lil outing for me and Jojo, but she had some things to do and I'm still kinda sick and plus with some storms forecast for sometime today, i ain't wanna risk it with me or her. Madea and Fridays will have to wait another day.

-Fin

Peace

Out With The Old, In With The New

2009-02-23T20:05:00.003-05:00

well it feels like i haven't done this in a lil minute and well i was putting it off for one big update which is
well....now....so i thought id start it off with 5 random facts about myself that I've seen other folks doing
now for a while. well some might not be so random but some you may not know

1. i listen to more old school records (50s, 60s, & 70s) than i do to today's mainstream stuff
2. I've only been to one funeral in the 23 years of my life...which was as recent as last year
3. i call my mama by her first name, and i have since i was a little kid
4. i used to call my grandpa by his first name as well
5. I've never been arrested (yes, a black man that's never been in cuffs, we do exist)

well i said this would be a big update but its really only one thing big that's happened lately which y'all will
see at the end of all this, but mostly the rest are random thoughts i guess.

for one...today at church i noticed that...when i don't show up for a while...maybe 1 or 2 Sundays out the month
when i do make it back that 3rd or 4Th Sunday...how many folks noticed my absence. i ain't saying i got some kinda
status within the church or anything but i guess since I'm the youngest person on the male usher board and I'm involved in some behind the scenes work, folks take notice of it, especially the older folks in the church, always shaking my hand....telling me how proud they are of me, etc etc. makes a brother feel damn good.

another random thought i was talking to somebody close to me last night was how its funny to see folks you went
to high school with, just how much they've changed over time. looks and personality wise. these two dudes i went
to school with came to church this morning and sat not too far from the door i was ushering on, one is cool and
the other one was i guess you can all a trouble maker, but I'm cool with both of em. but as the service went on
and stuff, as folks were really getting into the spirit i noticed him doing the same. now to me it was kinda
strange b/c someone who always acted out, acted like a str8 up thug and what not...was actually feeling the
spirit. it was just weird to me. then the part where the pastor welcomed folks to join the church, one of the
associate pastors came over to him and the other dude was was tryna talk him into joining but he seems to turn
it down every time. maybe he wasn't into it as much as i thought, or maybe he just ain't wanna walk up in front
of everybody.....who knows.

Other than that, ion really like complaining about my job too much b/c i know I'm blessed to even have one these
days. but i did have to show that i ain't no push over to one of the supervisors on Friday. my whole thing is. they
got me learning so much stuff, doing this, and doing that, getting me into a class to be a hazmat responder, etc.
so much on my plate, but at the same time i don't think they get that b/c they try to put me on a time limit on how
many hours i can work a day, that's cool to me cuz hell i don't wanna be there no longer than the next person, yet
if i gotta make them hours to get shit done, then i ain't complaining either. but don't come at me sideways saying
i gotta be done by a certain time when I'm up to my neck in shit to process then get mad at me when it doesn't get
done. that's my only issue. I'm the only clerk staying after the trucks go out finishing stuff up. it used to be two
of us but the other girl leaves at 9 to take her kids to school so its kinda like they got me doing all the stuff
she used to do afterwards when I was leaving at 9 or 9:30. but in the end, i cant really complain b/c I'm starting
to make the big bucks. so ill just roll with the punches cuz i know it'll all pay off in the long run.

well i think that's about it as far as shit that's been going on the past week and a half, still getting over this
cold i got, probably from the cold snap we had early last week. i swear i must have been sick more than 5 times
since this year started all b/c of them shits. smh.

Oh yeah and well i did title this "out with the old and in with the new" and that's b/c like i said in a previous
entry i had a big surprise...well at least its big to me b/c I've been long over due for this for sometime now. and
that is i finally got myself some new frames....two pair matter of fact. i was gonna get some Bulgari since Jojo
picked em out and liked em, but i couldn't find em in the store so instead i got some Sean John's...a regular seeing
pair and another frame as sunglasses but also prescribed. and i swear when i tired em both on i felt like a new man
i went and did the exam and everything Saturday...had me sit in front of some machine and looked at a green light
and came out a lil and without warning shot a puff of air directly into my eye...shit made me jump back every time.
only thing i was kinda worried about was the dilation b/c last time i got it done, my eyeballs felt tight as hell
like i couldn't move em around for a good 30 minutes but it wasn't like that this time....just...dude said my vision
would become blurry within 20 minutes and that shit didn't wear off for at least 5 hrs. had to be the longest drive
home ever. but since they closed early on Saturdays and no one was there to make the lenses on Sunday i had to go
pick em up today after i got off work. so yeah....out with the old and in with the new....I'm loving these joints man.....

that's about it for now....ill probably start doing these more often instead of just some random shit every other
day.

Peace

-Fin

Everyday's The 14th

2009-02-15T15:07:00.007-05:00

ionno why these pics always come out un centered in my entries smh

Yeah its actually the 15Th now but after last night i kinda wish it still was the 14Th. Now usually id just treat that day as any other day b/c i never had any reason to treat it otherwise, but after a few years out the loop i finally had a reason to.

I wont go into much detail but it was definitely a nice outing for both of us, gave gift(s), good company, great food. A nice change of pace for myself. already looking forward to a second outing.
its just nice to be out with someone and actually know that person is paying attention to YOU and not whats going on around you., its sorta bringing back an old feeling i haven't felt in quite sometime and it feels damn good and to be honest, ion wanna lose it anytime soon.

But yeah, it was definitely dope. hope to do it again real soon. and other than that, ain't really no other stuff going on. i said i wasn't gonna blog again anyway until probably the week after next for something else but it felt like i ain't did it in a while anyway. so whoever does read this, 'i shol do appreciate ya

-Fin

-Peace

I'll Be In The Sky

2009-02-08T01:18:00.002-05:00

I was actually asleep when i woke up and heard this video on 106&park as the new joint, i was still half asleep so at first glance i really thought it was Andre 3000 but the beat is the first thing that caught my ears. the concept is pretty dope too and reminded me of outkast so I'm guessing dude gotta be related to em or something, especially having a name after one of their biggest hit songs.
i think this really gotta be one of the first joints that i really digg since '09 started. ill definitely check out his album when it drops.

Ain't too much else to talk about other than that tho, had to take my mam truck back to the BMW dealership to have it serviced, and i realized just how bad i want an 7-series now. cuz them things bad, especially the 760 Li. but i still think ima leave that as a retirement present to myself, whenever i do retire which ain't gonna be til I'm damn near 60 and hell, it might be an 790 Xi out by then lol.

Hit up key Biscayne after that for a lil while to enjoy whats left over of this cool weather and take a few shots, and that was about it for this Saturday, got church in the morning so ima cut this off right here and catch y'all good folks on the next go around.

Ill leave these two pieces of HDR work i did on one of the shots i did earlier.

-Fin

Peace

Now I Usually Dont....

2009-02-05T14:18:00.006-05:00

I don't consider myself the Michael Jordan of this whole photography thing, hell ion even know if id consider it mediocre, I'm still getting my feet wet in it and learning more and more as time goes on. but the stuff i am learning and the more i press the shutter release button (to take the picture lol). i begin to notice just how nice some of em turn out...well at least to me and maybe others.

for example, the picture up top....i don't really like taking pics of myself b/c well, i know i ain't the ugliest dude around but hell i know i ain't no Reggie bush either. but i don't know, it was just something about this one that i liked which is why i posted it up and i mean thx to this wireless remote, which even made it possible.

I told myself id start getting more and more "into" my pictures and this here kinda gives me some reassurance that it ain't about tryna take the best shot to please folks, but what looks best to me. in the end, i AM the one taking the shot

Other than that. shit......it was so got damn cold this morning down here. checked the outside temp in the car and it read 41. plus it was a lil breeze which made it that much more worse. even with gloves on, my damn hands still went numb as hell. i had to watch how i moved every package just so i wouldn't jam anything up or worse, break something.

Even right now its still damn near in the 50s with the same breeze but i must admit, it feels damn good. but I'm wondering, why the hell do we get all our cold weather down here AFTER the holidays? ion think i can recall one cold thanksgiving or Christmas or even for my birthday., too bad this cold snap will be gone by Saturday tho.

But ain't really too much other shit going on, hardly any complaints, I'm just living and doing me and enjoying it. i think ima do something this weekend i haven't done in what feels like some months......turn on my xbox 360 and finish assassins creed lol.

Oh yeah before i forget, shout out to Paris
if i didn't do it, she'd probably never let
me forget it

-Fin

Peace

Back To Reality

2009-02-02T17:53:00.003-05:00

iight so, you ever had a situation come up to the point where it kinda brought back a feeling of deja vu from a past experience weather it be good or bad?

Well something like that just happened to me not too long ago. basically some dude that rides around on a bike came by the house, knocked on the door and started asking my mama questions about lawn care (she let him do some work a while back and he did a shit ass job) so she basically gave him the cold shoulder and he took off.

Now most probably wouldn't think of it as a big deal, but with me, it brought back a feeling of something that happened around this same time back in '07. i think i wrote about it way back when but ill just retouch on it.

Basically i was here home alone asleep one morning, somebody comes knocking at the door, now back then id usually just let em knock until they realized nobody was home and went on about their business but this dude just kept knocking and knocking so eventually i got up and as i made my way to the living room i heard the front door being kicked, jumped back, grabbed my phone, started to peak around the corner to see what was going on and he kicks it again knocking out one of the panels on it, so i dip out and i guess he saw me run across the room so he took off on his bike and around the corner, as i made my way out the back door, and ran to a neighbors house i saw him riding off but ion think he saw me.

But the whole point I'm tryna get across here is, just that one lil situation just now just seemed to bring back all those feelings.....piece of mind....sense of security...etc etc. i mean you really don't know how folks act these days when somebody talks to em a certain way, they'll either just let it ride or might come back to prove a point. cant just put shit pass nobody nowadays, which is why my mind starts to run with hella scenarios, what if this happens, what if that happens.

which is the reason why i want some vicious ass guard dogs, the reason why i want an alarm system on this house, the reason why i wanna get a CCW license and keep a weapon in this house. only draw back on all of this is, that if its gonna happen, its gonna happen. ain't no ifs, ands, or buts about that. but that's why i keep this iron baseball bat across the bed from me.....just in case.

Its kinda funny b/c i just got done watching Gran Torino and the whole message of the movie was to stand up for yourself, i guess even if it means costing you your life.

I don't know tho, i mean this whole thing was always in the back of my mind and thought i was getting over it, but just like that.....back to reality....

-Fin

Peace

Photo Session

2009-01-31T18:13:00.003-05:00

I ain't gonna bore y'all with the meaningless randoms this time around so instead i thought id drop off some visual euphoria's. hope y'all like em

you can go to my photo stream below if you want for the larger prints to see em
in better detail

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tre305/

-Fin

Peace

Feeling Pretty Good

2009-01-29T17:11:00.004-05:00

Finally got my damn W-2 today so i can go ahead and file my income tax and try and get a new whip. well actually i had to call up my jobs human resources and ask about it, lady said they were mailing em out this week and i should have it no later than next week but right before i hung up she told me i could go on our employees website and print a copy out from there and BAM!, got that shit sitting on top of the printer right damn now. since ionno what time I'm getting off tomorrow and my cousin is off, he gonna go down to the dude and do mines and his at the same time.

I know i been saying with this money ima try to get a new whip but now I'm really re-thinking it....its been almost 10 years now since my old dog died and ever since then i been really wanting another one, and ionno. but ionno when id be able to try and get another one and this could be a good time, i mean as far as adopting one. i always said i wanted two, something like a German Shepperd or Akita Inu...a breed that's large and got some bite to em (any dog can bark lol). I'm a huge dog person and it would be pretty dope coming home to em everyday and well they do say a dog is a mans best friend, but ill see.

Other than that, i guess i can say its another end to another long work week, shit pay day, even a bigger pay day since ill find out how much ima be getting back, plus two days to bullshit around. cant get much better than that. plus i got some up coming plans i hope go thru over the next few months. so yeah...life is good at the moment

And man i swear i been blasting this "stronger" by kanye all damn week at work, shit makes time go by so much faster plus....ionno...but i feel like I'm on some superman shit the way i be man-handling them packages (sorry in advanced if ya shit get delivered damaged, it probably wasn't me anyway) but yeah, this song just gets me in the zone like a mug.

Well, i think that's about it for now, ima go get into something, somewhere.....

-Fin

Peace

Holding On

2009-01-27T15:46:00.003-05:00

I been wanting to do this blog for a while but never got around to it, forgot about it, and didn't know how to get it just right but i think ill do it now.

So at first glance of this pic, you'd probably say its just a black and white shot of a chair, love seat i guess. well its kinda more than that to me. i kinda see it as a part of the past I'm still holding on to. it was actually apart of the living room and dinning room set my grandma got way back when, and i got in plenty of trouble over that chair...as far as spinning around and around in it. but anyway, my moms decided to get rid of it a few months back and at first i objected to it, because well, i guess you can say it had sentimental values to me and didn't wanna let it go. needless to say its gone now and i see walk by the same spot it used to sit and just reminisce.

But maybe it's just me, certain things i still hold on to b/c i get comfort from em, weather it be mentally or physically. matter fact, i got a box right now my grandma kept that got all kinda cold coins she collected and stuff.

Ehh....sometimes its just hard to let go.

Other than that, first day of the week has been pretty good thus far, they got me coming in later and later at work, i think they tryna cut my hrs but i always end up getting em in anyway at the end from all the work i gotta finish processing.

Meh, i think that's about it for right now

-Fin

Peace.

One Sunday Morning

2009-01-25T07:54:00.003-05:00

Good Morning to anybody who's happening to be reading this. unlike my last entry which was pretty much just some random ass thoughts, i probably got some stuff to talk about in this one.

its about 3 minutes til 8 and i should be in church right not ushering, but the thing is, since we done moved into this mega church around the corner, i ain't even too sure if the pastor is doing just one or two services, but from what I'm hearing its two. and seeing as most folks tend to go to the 7:30 service to get it out the way, I'm glad i just woke up. so ill be ushering at the 11:00 service, hopefully it wont be too crowed, but the only perk is, afterwards our male usher board is having our yearly outing to red lobster, ionno what ima get since i think i done developed an allergic reaction to shrimp, but i know damn well ima get some of them crab cakes and some kinda alcoholic beverage.

Other than that, its been an OK weekend, i went out to a few places yesterday, got a shave, finally went and got me a new computer chair, went and got my mama a front plate for her BMW and a model number key chain which she was hella surprised of b/c she didn't even tell anyone that's what she wanted, i guess i just got lucky and picked out the right one eh?

Tried to go to borders that i been talking about all week long but they parking lot so got damn small and the shit was so got damn packed like they was giving away something, so i said forget it and went for a lil drive instead, snapped a few pics ill post up at the bottom for y'all to see.

ended the day by going over to my aunts house and looking at some old pictures my other aunt had brought over since she was cleaning out my uncles (passed on) stuff. it was a bunch of old pics of him when he was younger, my other aunts and cousins, even my great grandma and grandpa, it was interesting seeing them b/c my great grandpa passed on Jan. 11Th. '85.....11 months before i was born, forgot when my great grandma passed on but i have a pretty good vivid memory of her.

Its funny how my mama can remember all the dates when they all passed on, like its nothing, but the only person i can remember is my uncle, i guess its b/c they passed on when i was much younger, hell i mean i was the last person to see my grandpa alive, and i guess pretty much watched him die in front of me, got to see my grandma one more time before she was gone, saw my aunt one more time before i headed off to school, but something told me she'd be gone when i got back that afternoon, which she was. ionno. i need to mark them dates down for my own reference.

But moving on from that, as i was leaving to head back home, tell me why a big argument broke out over dark meat vs white meat (chicken) my cousin was saying that the breast is white meat and drumsticks and thighs are dark meat, but my aunt was arguing the difference. lol i had a good laugh over it b/c only in my family can some shit like that go down.

On a bad note, and i hate to leave on a bad note...well it ain't really one, but it seems the HD receiver in the TV room ain't working, well its working but its having trouble picking up the signal from the dish outside, funny thing is, the other 3 TVs in here working just fine, so i guess the flat screen is outta commission for a while, or until directv comes out here and fixes it, funny that they'll chair 50 bucks to probably replace a cord i could have done myself, but bah.

Oh yeah, i finally finished watching all 5 seasons of the wire, shit i might watch em again....one day, but i guess ima just pop open the family guy collection and watch that for a while now.

Oh shit, BIG ASS NEWS. found out yesterday that my cousin and her husband and kids are coming down here in April for spring break, mannnnnnnn you have no idea how long i been waiting on this, i love them kids to death and they all ain't been down here in at least 4 years now. so i cant wait for em to touch down. i might not be on the computer at all for that week.

But yeah, that's about it for now, think ima go lay back down til about a quarter to 10, then get up and start getting ready.

-Fin

Peace

Ionno what it is about shooting in black and white but it tends to give your shots
a little more emotion so i think ima stick to this mode for a while.

Thursdays Thoughts

2009-01-22T14:22:00.002-05:00

- Congrats to Obama

- that blue mountain dew

- i think we're "taking it there"

- all this shit they got me learning at work and getting certified for
i better be getting some certified pay....shit.

- i been feeling real uninspired with this camera as of lately, time to take a lil trip this weekend
and hit up borders on the way

- ill probably do a picture blog sooner or later for the few shots i have taken lately

- Insomnia is still a bitch, but that big box meal from KFC is the truth

- I'm hungry

- they need to give out them got damn W-2's already at work

- I'm hungry

- shout out to whoever is reading this shit

- I'm almost done watching the 5Th season of the wire, guess ill start the family gut saga next
or get back into playing the 360...still ain't opened COD5 since i got it from game fly

- TV just seems so more interesting in HD

hell that's about it for now

-Fin

Peace

Insomnia Is A Bitch

2009-01-18T01:27:00.002-05:00

So I'm sitting up here, cant get back to sleep, ain't too long got off the phone with my sis and a friend, she was kinda disappointed in the biggie movie, i mean i knew they put way too much hype around that movie and already knew what the outcome would be, i might still bootleg it whenever a good copy of it hits the net.

Today they had the MLK parade right up the street from me, i can literally hear the bands when i walk outside. but i woke up kinda late and missed it, like i did last year and the year before last and so on. this thing just ain't been the same in quite sometime, i remember it used to be maybe 4 or 5 hrs long, starting at like 8:30 and ending at damn near noon, FAMU and BCC coming down and showing out and hell the highlight of the parade was the very end with the junkanoos (y'all islanders will know what I'm talking about with that). they would pull people from the sidewalks to dance with em and man when you hear them drums and whistles you already knew what time it was.

i miss that shit man, not its only like maybe 3 and a half hrs, don't even think FAMU or BBC comes thru anymore and the junkanoo line is so damn short that it ain't even worth it. plus lately when its over, everybody goes to the park but with niggas wanting to fight and shit, they pull out and start shooting, man it just ain't worth the lil 5 minute walk anymore, and i already know the one in the city on Monday ain't gonna be no better.

but shit, ain't really much else to it, ima see if i can go back to sleep, or go eat some pork skins and drink a vitamin water and watch the wire, ionno man.

-Fin

Peace

Feeling Kinda...

2009-01-15T10:10:00.003-05:00

Cool, Chill, Calm, Collected......probably b/c its in the mid 60s outside right now with a lil wind, but theres another reason, and all ill say on this is...thanks Paris for the hook up lol.

had to switch up the song to a throwback b/c well stemming from a blog from my boy Davon, about dreams and stuff, this song stuck out to me all b/c of one simple line that I'm gonna start using day to day to push myself. and that line is "remember you dream is your only scheme...so keep on pushing" alot of truth behind that line right there, and nowadays it seems that's all you have really to do what you want to do. if yeen got a dream, then i guess you'd be living in a nightmare eh?

Other than that, its been an alright week thus far, went over my aunt house yesterday to celebrate her birthday....73 yrs old, ain't god good?. i swear man anytime my folks get together its a whole lotta shit talking and you can damn near hear it half way down the block, even from inside the house, but i love em.

One thing i don't love, or rather dislike, is when they start talking about dreams they've had about passed loved ones, like last night for example, my mama said she had a dream about her mama (my grandma) and it was dealing with playing numbers (gambling). once she said her story, my uncle joined in with one, then my aunt, and so on and so on, now i know they just holding a conversation but with me, and still tryna deal with death, i really don't like to hear about that kinda stuff.

I mean I've had dreams about my grandma and grandpa before, but what hit me was what my uncle said....something along the lines of...when you do dream about a passed loved one, it means that they're standing right over you as you dream. now i don't really believe in all that super natural yada yada mess but i mean, if there is any truth to that statement, then it kinda gives me chills, yet makes me smile a bit, knowing that they're still here in a way.

Ionno tho, its weird. and ion really got anything else to talk about lol, like that's new. glad tomorrow is Friday, i got a few nick nacks i wanna look into if my money is looking right.

-Fin

Peace

I Keep Tellin' Myself...

2009-01-12T14:25:00.003-05:00

Damn negro, quit blogging so damn often. at least until you got something with some substance to speak on. i mean most of my entries tend to be just rambles, pretty much like what this one is gonna be but i just feel like getting shit off my chest sometimes no matter how small and to the people who take the time out to read em, i feel like it serves its purpose.

But yeah, church yesterday was cool, had a full house, but if they really think we gonna be ushering erry Sunday they got us fucked up. and with all them people complaining about the stairs and where to sit and all of that, id rather go back to working the sound and video, sheittttttttttttttttt. "i ain't havin it!"[/bebes kids]

feeling much better from last week, ain't really got no soreness left lingering around, so its back to normal for the most part, until i do that driver helper thing again which i think i might, one day this week.

and you know, its funny how when my mama is talking to me, it could be about anything pertaining to bettering myself as a person. its like ill sit there and say "yeah" "i get it" "i understand" and its kinda like its going in one ear and out the other, but later on i can recall exactly what she said if the situation ever came up and draw reference from it to help me out. ionno i just think its weird, like i ain't listening, but really i am.

Just got COD4 - world at war from game fly but ionno when ima even touch it seeing as I'm in the 4Th season of watching the wire, I'm guessing that i haven't touched my 360 in a good two weeks now, maybe even longer. ill get to it eventually.

oh yeah, happy 50Th anniversary to Motown, i was blasting my oldies earlier...Four Tops - Since i lost my baby...and my mama was talking about how old she was when that song first dropped and stuff. pretty cool to learn some interesting facts about artist from way back when.

and i swear just me getting in the car and taking a leisure drive somewhere....anywhere, just mellows me out like ionno what. if it ain't music or my camera that calms me down when I'm stressed its that. i just hope gas continues to go down b/c i plan on doing alot more driving soon.

yeah, that's about it for now....about to go process these shots i took earlier and go finish watching the wire.

-Fin

You Know What...

2009-01-09T19:42:00.003-05:00

...Really grinds my gears? Assholes who go either right at or below the speed limit, speed the hell up you dumb son of a bitch, but cant over take em b/c of the double line....gotdamn another trap....

But anyway, another week has come to an end, and another pay day, i think ima sit on this one, aint really got any expenses this time around nor anything i want or need. im thinking about doing this whole driver helper thing again one day next week, i mean an extra $100-150 on the check aint bad at all.

Went on ahead and chopped off the goateee, i will admit, looking down and seeing it in my lap kinda got at me a lil bit. but after i took at look at it closer afterwards, it looks a hell of alot more presentable now so i aint too bothered by it. hell its a new year, so its time for a new style, if i ever get the hand of taking self portraits ill take a pic to show yall.

Random Thought: So BET coming out with a gospel version of 106&park? fuck hip hop being dead, TV is dead....smh

Continuing......shit thats about it, im starting to get sleepy just from typing this shit, oh yeah, shout out to Judy and her gators for bringing it home for how many years in a row now? them damn canes need to take notes, aint been to a BCS bowl since dorsey was drafted smh.

Guess ill just end this with a few shots i took over the past few weeks, nothing special, just some candids, enjoy.

-Fin

Feel The Burn

2009-01-08T09:59:00.003-05:00

Which is exactly what I'm feeling right now, even after a day it feels worse than it did yesterday. DF is this negro talking about? you might be asking yourself....probably not tho.

But, i volunteered yesterday to be a driver helper. basically ride around with a driver and hop out and deliver the packages to the home or business. thought it'd be cool or whatever, hell its 25 bucks an hour so why not right? bullfuckingshit, well not the money part but if that shit wasn't a work out then ionno what is. i only did it for about 4 and a half hrs but man soon as he dropped me off back to my car i just damn near passed out, and it wasn't even my arms or anything, my got damn legs were killing me from all the walking and running. I'm talking about couldn't even put alotta pressure on either leg sore. i said i ain't never doing that shit again but ima see how this check reflects from it. gotta love seeing that shit on your upcoming check instead of having to wait til the week after.
if its looking right, then ill probably do that shit like once a month or something. ion see how they fools do that shit man but it was cool tho, good way to make alotta money fast.

other than that, and besides still feeling the after effects, i did make one more purchase....i call it the grand daddy of my photography set up.

now i can finally get into taking night shots without worrying about the picture coming out all blurry and shit, I'm fixin' to put in some heavy work with this thing here.

And i need to go get these clothes i was suppose to pick up yesterday but didn't b/c i was out working. really just some church wear to shut my aunt up. i love her and all but shit, ion see whats wrong with wearing a nice polo shirt and some jeans to church. well maybe it is something wrong with that but maybe shes right b/c i know all shes doing is looking out for me, and plus I'm getting older now, so maybe it is time for a more "grown man" look....not no Steve Harvey type shit tho.

Found out my homgirl i went to school with is pregnant too while she was down here from Wyoming. was kinda shocked b/c i would have never thought but then again you cant put much pass folks these days, said she due in march i believe, shes enlisted right now so i hope to best for her.

well i think that's enough bullshit for right now, i need to go hijack my cousins jacuzzi again and some food, plus i need to go finish watching the wire and maybe watch the real world...Judy making it seem kinda interesting, they do got a black chick on there right?

Peace!

My Bad

2009-01-05T15:27:00.004-05:00

Been kinda slippin' on the blog thing since the new year started, well hell, ain't like any of y'all noticed anyway right? jk jk.

But yeah....so far its been so good, no complaints really. and to be honest, hardly any updates....well besides one or two things.

First thing is this damn goatee of mines, with it being a new year should bring new changes right? i mean i had this thing since high school which is well over 5 yrs old, and i really think it stopped growing after 4 so why do i still even have it? ionno really but I'm getting to the age where appearance is starting to mean more and more to me as well as the people around me. i mean what do i look like going to an interview for a fortune 500 company with chin hairs way down yonder? id probably get turned around at the front door. so yeah, i think its time for a change, and it'll probably be this weekend.

Second thing would be this whole school thing, i know for the longest i been saying, ima go to Miami Dade, ima go to Miami Dade. but as of last week, while i was talking to my homboy josh, he told me about the school he goes to located downtown.....Ai Miami International University.....and so far from what I've heard and read about it, I'm really digging it, plus ill be going for my current hobby....photography. so yeah, i hope that works out as well.

But other than that...well that's pretty much it for the time being, income tax season is right around the corner so ima definitely try for a car since i done kinda put that on the back burner.
we'll see

that's about it for now

Stay tuned

Peace.

Oh yeah, if anyone is interested, i really haven't been too busy with this new camera as of lately but i have taken a few shots here and there

y'all can check em out here if you want
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tre305/
'preciate it in advanced

Greatttttttttttttttttttt Day

2008-12-31T05:07:00.002-05:00

Well, made it another year, made it to another birthday, 23 yrs of age as of 12 midnight but yes i know its now after 5 lol, i don't know why I'm up, but i am and now here i am. Usually today i would treat just like any other day b/c i don't know......alot of factors went into it but i wont get into that right now, but today i feel is different. I'm feeling extra happy, and hell i should be, I'm alive for one to even see this day, even tho i gotta go to work for a few hrs I'm blessed to even have a job right now with the way things are going right now. AND, i got me 3 celebratory bottles to bring the new year in justttttttttttttt right lol, anybody wanna toast up with me?. Oh and for once i actually FEEL older lol.

But back tracking for a lil bit, this year i can say has been so so, had the good and bad times. good times being, i landed my current job that i love....sometimes lol, got into my newest hobby of photography and got my first DSLR camera...well first and second as well.

The bad would be the lost of my uncle, really hit me out the blue b/c i t just happened all of a sudden. and with that i had to over come one of my biggest fears and that is death,and i must say i have a new understanding for it. i just gotta remember what my uncle tole me when my grandma passed...."we cry when they come into world and celebrate when they leave"

I can also say that this past year.....well for some reason i can only remember up to June lmao but i can say i have met some cool ass people so instead of just summing em up i thought id make a lil list:

Judy - my Asian sensation..lol we clicked since day one, glad to have you as a good friend and wish you all the best in 2009.

Liz - yeah we fell off at one point and time but I'm glad we're back at it, your one cool ass chick...odd at times but cool.

Bee - what can i say? feels like we been thru it like Ike and Tina, but we're still pushing on, like I've told you plenty of times, i ain't going anywhere no time soon so yeen never gotta worry.

Naki - "eye of an eagle" lol man that shall be engraved in my head forever, and only pretty much one word can sum you up "real", i wanna thank you for all the kind words on my work and ill be sure to bring you more in 2009

Amber - we never really talked much but you're one pretty chocolate lady lol, still ain't get my shout out! but i did get one in your one entry "3:05 am" haha, happy new years babes.

Dav - man you one cool ass laid back brotha lol, kinda reminds me of myself in some ways, hard worker, determined, alladat good shit lol. i hope the best for you going into '09, i already know its gonna be big things.

Josh - another cool ass dude, i really need to go over to ya school and sign up for some classes cuz the stories you told me are just crazy man lol..

Noey - brang yo ass back home to Miami, that is all lol

Lena - love ya like a sis, cool ass chick, we'll kick it one of these days. dont change a thing

Paris - My lil sis, had well more than enough of our share of ups and downs but we stuck thru em all, and i love ya for that. we some serious odd balls but i guess that's why we get together so well lol. happy new years sis, make it a good one will ya?

I think i got everybody but if not i do apologize, that was really just off the top of my head lol but do know i love y'all and wish everybody the best in '09

But ima cut this short right here, gotta go start getting ready for work, come back home and start the celebration.

Peace & Blessing
From '08 into '09

Make it a good one y'all

Memories

2008-12-27T19:40:00.003-05:00

So I'm sitting here listening to some old gym class hero's (paper cut chronicles & as cruel as school children) and I'm listening to one song in particular....viva la white girl. not really anything to do with the song itself but the song brings back some memories of someone close to me. she actually first put me up on these cats a few yrs back and i didn't really get into em at first but then i got hooked and i can recall a few times us just sitting on the phone vibing to a few tracks from em.

But anyway it just reminds me of the good times me and her used to have, how close we were, just like brother and sister. we had our ups and downs....way more than enough of em but some how it just feels like we kinda drifted apart from each other, and things just don't seem the same between us like the way they used to be. i mean i already know what I've done and we've talked about it plenty of times, but meh, i guess you can say i miss those "good ole" days we used to share.

I don't know tho, its like with me i HATE feeling like I'm losing contact with someone, even if we don't talk as much i try my best to at least KIT some way, some how. but when i feel it getting to that point i guess i tend to over react making it worse on myself, not the best judgement either on my behalf.

But anyway, she's someone i hold dear to me for the simple fact that all we've been thru and she's been thru herself she's remained the same and strong as ever so i gotta tip my hat off to her for that.

So yeah....here's to you sis, love ya

Viva La White Girl - Gym Class Heroes

Oh yeah, as far as my birthday bottles, i ended up getting some grey goose, patron and Bacardi 151....fixin to be one good ass new years/birthday...

Peace

The Day After

2008-12-26T09:41:00.003-05:00

Welp, i hope erryone's Christmas holiday was a happy and joyful one, got everything you wanted but if you didn't then there's always next year, or even ya birthday but like my girl Naki said, it ain't just about getting and giving presents but more so the thought behind em.

And with that said i was kinda shocked at what i did receive this year, even tho i kept telling folks i really didn't want anything b/c i got my present weeks ago already but i ended up getting the first 5 seasons of family guy as well as the complete series of HBO's The Wire on DVD. i told myself that if i did end up getting one of those i would go back and get the other one myself but hey, i cant be mad at all from getting BOTH.

My moms....well her gift was pretty much her new HDTV and surround sound system as well as the new stand she got for it just so it could all match...all black lol. i also got her a new stereo radio for work so her work day could go by just a lil bit more easier. but all in all it was a good Christmas this year, ill admit i did have my moments where i was feeling a lil down but it all worked out for the best.

Now I'm just looking forward to one more important day.....my birthday.....which is in 5 more days. and speaking of my birthday, i need to hit up the liquor store today to you know, get my celebratory bottle early lol. just one problem....ion really know what to get, and i know i got some drinkers who come by my blog so if and when y'all ready this, help a brotha out. I'm thinking grey goose, but patron ain't sounding so bad either so let me know something!.

That's about it for now, ill be back with my birthday/year end wrap up

Peace!

Word

2008-12-23T15:12:00.002-05:00

I swear don't a day go by where i DON'T see a cop car patrolling around my neighborhood, or a a chopper flying over, not saying my area that damn bad, but cmon, its 2 days til Christmas, the hell is yawls holiday cheer?!.

So i went up to my mama's job to drop off a letter for her that came in the mail she needed, and she told me this dude named David wanted to meet me since she told him i was into photography and he was too, i was expecting maybe somebody a lil older than me and probably my skin color or Cuban, but dude had to be at least in his 60s and white lol. but soon as i walked into his office i was met by wall to wall of shots he took, mostly of animals and nature but his shots where dope as fuck. he said he uses a Nikon D80 but he's pretty seasoned in the game.

gave me a few tips and stuff and i was just getting to the point to where i was wondering what do i do next since i got this new camera. i think ima do what he said and go to the zoo and take some pics, i might even go across the bridge over to jungle island and get some in there too.

I think i done found some inspiration again to keep it going just a lil bit longer to see what i can come up with and how far i can go with this....word

Peace....

I Dont Mean To

2008-12-22T15:31:00.002-05:00

I don't mean to be the Grinch who stole Christmas, don't mean to bring others down with my presence. its just this time of year, almost every year since '01 (grandma passed) and ever since then, thanksgiving and Christmas are just regular days of the week to me.

i really don't mean to let my actions affect others so that's why i tend to just keep to myself for the most part damn near til my bday. the holidays just ain't the same around my neck of the woods so Ive just become numb to all the things that surround it.

I know there's plenty of other folks who feel the exact same way as me, but i don't know, i try to get into the spirit but sometimes it seems to no avail. shit sucks too, especially when i see that my mama is noticing it, and since its basically just me and her now...well plus my cousin, i feel i gotta be there for her ya know?

its suppose to be the most wonderful time of the year right?
well it shol doesn't feel like it to me.

I Never Knew

2008-12-20T15:48:00.003-05:00

Well I'm feeling much better today and thx to a good friend of mines, taco bell's fully loaded nachos is on the dinner menu for later on today. finally getting my appetite back thank god.

Other than that, i had no idea putting together an entertainment center would be so hard....kinda. well it didn't take me no more than maybe 2 hrs tops and since i never go by the instruction manual
I'm surprised i got all the components right on the money the first time around, but ill let the pics explain the set up below

Before:

And After:

And see this lil thing here?

hell ionno even know wtf it is, all i know is i connect my phone to it and i can stream my songs thru the speakers lol. and man when i say that shit is loud....it really feels like the speakers in my car, or being in a movie theater. like right now i just got done running thru it with my mama, she watching the basketball game and i left it on, i keep hearing something knocking, thinking somebody playing some music, turns out its the system thumping, mannnnnn 1000 watts FTW!

And this thing here?

Just like an wireless player you can put in any other room and hear the radio or your music player from the surround sound system it, i think ima put it in my mama room if it ain't too far away from it.

But say man, you ever been out somewhere driving and been on the phone with someone....tryna multi task and did some stupid shit you laughed ya ass off about later on?
well i messed around and was at Popeye's, on the phone, the girl gave me my food and drink, forgot i put the phone in my lap, put the drink up to my mouth and spoke into the drink like it was my damn phone, i couldn't help but laugh my ass off at myself about it lol.

But you know what really grinds my gears? when folks get called a certain name (dumb ass, fucking idiot, etc etc) and they feel the need to walk around and let every single person know what happened to em, i mean yeah its messed whoever it was called you that but i mean come on, it ain't breaking news or some shit. if it was me, id just shake that shit off and keep it moving, ain't some shit that would make me consider quitting my damn job over, cmon homgurl....grow some meat flaps.

That's about it for now, if ion post anything else before Christmas Eve, just wanna wish errybody and they're folks and happy and safe holiday.

Peace

Glad It's Over

2008-12-19T10:44:00.002-05:00

This work week i mean. Starting at 1 and 2 in the morning and still getting off at the regular time, shit has been painful...literally. and to add to it all, Ive been battling this cold or whatever i got/had this past week too. Kinda hurt my back yesterday lifting a package, and when i say i was in some pain....i was in some pain.

Head been hurting the past 3 days, stomach was hurting yesterday, and whatever i got was srsly fucking with me, one minute id feel like i was about to pass out, like...i really felt my vision dimming, mouth was dry as hell, all of thee above. but the weird part is, just like if feel like that for an hour or so. when i come home id get cold as fuck, so cold i start shaking and shit and clacking my teeth. man i don't know whats going on but i think its all finally starting to subside.

just glad we got a 3 day work week next week, but we fucking starting at 12:30 Sunday night....mannnnn i hope I'm feeling better by then. that's why i ain't doing shit this weekend. not a damn thing but laying up in bed and catching up on all the sleep i missed so far.

this shit ain't nothing nice man....

Peace

Can I Be Happy?

2008-12-17T10:08:00.003-05:00

Why does it seem like at least once a day, Almost EVERYDAY, no matter how good of a mood i may be in, how much im just vibing, something comes along and just shuts all of that down. shit its getting kind of old if you ask me. but myabe its partly my fault b/c sometimes i ask for it but then again, sometimes it just finds me, but all in all i wish it would just fuck off on somedays and leave me be.

But fuck all that right now, i aint fixing to let it stop the vibe i got right now, b/c well....santa came a little early for me this year and as many of you know, yall probably already know what im talking about, but for those who dont, just check the pics below.

My latest and greatest investment, aint even tested it yet but its about to be ran thru fully in a minute (no pun) but yeah, shit is way smaller than the model i got now and much lighter. im pretty much satisfied technology wise for the time being, but i aint gonna hold myself to that. so just be on the look out for some picture entries and let me know what yall think.

Peace.

Oh yeah...to Her:

She Lives In My Lap - Outkast

Decisions....Decisions

2008-12-16T15:56:00.003-05:00

Got a headache out this world man, gotta start drinking more water...more than i already am anyway.

But i ended up going to best buy with moms to price some HDTV shes looking to get sometime this week, she been looking at this song 40 inch almost everyday on the pc for the past week and a half, finally got into the store and our got damn 37 inch looks bigger than that damn thing, ionno, it could have just been b/c of the other TVs around it, but i think i done talked her into getting an 46 inch of the same brand for about 600-800 more. shes was concerned about the width of it since it did seem pretty long but that just ended a few minutes ago and seems like it'll work. Other than that seems like she wants to get a new surround sound system for it, the right HDMI cables so it'll broadcast in high def for her, and probably a new stand for it if need be. i never knew getting a new TV would be so much got damn trouble

But while we were down there i took a stroll down the DVD section....and felt like a kid in a candy store, now i know my Xmas present is already on its way and i said i really ain't want anything else......but now.....i want the complete 5 seasons of family guy and/OR HBO's The Wire. I'll probably end up getting the family guy episodes myself but that got damn The Wire pack is over fucking 200....got damn, i think ima make my cousins and em get it for me instead, but my mama on the other hand wants the complete James bond movie collection which they had one more left but it was going for over 200 as well, but ima still do it for her b/c well, I'm a good son.

But yeah, i did notice something funny, well you'll see the pic below....ionno what dude was doing but ......

either he was selling em or doing a whole heap of picture taking.
but yeah just me rambling off at the mouth again
I'm fixing to hit the sheets, i got a headache the size of Monique
and it ain't pretty either

Peace

Close To Home

2008-12-13T12:09:00.002-05:00

So this past Thursday, id say maybe around 4 or 5 i start to hear a chopper flying around the area for a good 30-45 minutes, really didn't think much of it since its really nothing new around here, went to the mailbox about 10 minutes afterwards and it sounded like it landed on the park up the street from me which led me to believe something done happened and they probably air lifted somebody to the hospital. later on that evening i went out and as i pulled up to a 4-way intersection i saw a Spanish news van leaving the area as well, which then made me think....wtf done happened?
didn't catch the news that night to see what went down tho.

went to the barbershop yesterday morning after i got off work, and the first thing he asked me was did i hear about what happened yesterday. i said "nah what happened?" he told me two people got shot and killed over on the street my cousin lives on, said it was probably drug related, i wasn't in shock but i was like damn, its been a good lil minute since its been any type of shooting around here.

but later on that day my cousin comes down and tells us she knows one of the dudes that got killed....well here's where it gets kinda confusing, from how I'm hearing it, it sounds like 6 people total got killed, 4 in some type of boarding house where they deal drugs and 2 i guess in some type of altercation that went down, but the dude she knew, i guess he got killed early Friday morning, said some dudes followed him home from the club, robbed him and shot him 5 times.

but here's what kinda got to me, she said he was into drugs so I'm pretty sure that played a part in it too but also said he drove a BMW, don't know what model or year but i haven't really seen too many other BMW's around here besides my mom's and another one up the street.

it just hit close to home b/c its like, it could have been anybody else and the way I've been feeling over the past year and a half, you just don't feel safe anymore, i always thought this was a pretty decent area I'm in, i know we got the bad seeds but pretty much good. but for something like this to happen, its kinda like a reality check that shit is real out there.

So real that i have been thinking about getting some "protection" myself, along with the right paperwork to carry that "protection" around. i lost my peace of mind a long time ago and i really need it back....

Peace

Friday Thoughts 12/12

2008-12-11T11:25:00.005-05:00

Well its another Friday, made it thru another hellish work week, and earned a few more dollars. dollars that went to another investment, a brand new camera to get my feet just a little bit more wet in the world of photography. should get it sometime next week, that's why i love working for UPS, anything i order usually ships thru them and i can pick it up while I'm still on the job instead of waiting for the driver to deliver it.

These spicy nacho Doritos are pretty damn good

In other news, i had a lil talk with a good close friend of mines yesterday, i wont go off into details b/c its between me and her but it just felt like we fell off a huge cliff, she landed on a ledge below while i fell flat on my face at the very bottom. she's someone who's real special to me and id hate to lose her over something so small. we both had our parts in what happened but I'm just tryna make a change for the better and get the old "us" back....when we were closer than flies on dog shit. it'll be a work in progress but if she's willing to be on my team then ill take us to the championship (fuck that probably sounded corny as hell, dah well)

I don't see what all the hype is over this 5 gum is about

But moving on, as usual I'm still in picture mode so you already know what's coming next. just a few "randoms"

Got my next two titles on the way from game fly. Assassins Creed and Sonic: Unleashed. ion think ima even play em until we get this HDTV next week tho, just for the experience of it

so yeah, still on this old school tip, so you should have seen this coming as well. sometimes i really think I'm an old person trapped inside a young persons body, who else do you know that listens to music like this besides your parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles? some of em i can relate to, some bring back memories, some just choke me up, and some the average person wouldn't even care for unless they're favorite rapper used a sample from it in a song, but that's just me. BTW...i know i played this in another entry, but this time its for dedication purposes she'll know when she hears it.

Reach Out, Ill Be There - Four Tops

Peace

What You See....

2008-12-09T11:09:00.002-05:00

Is what you get. No need to fake, front, beat around the bush, be subtle about it. I'm getting to a point in my life where I'm finally realizing that i don't give a fuck, while most other folks had that mentality from birth.

It seems this whole Mr. Nice Guy role just don't get you anywhere in this day and time. really puts a magnifying glass over the phrase "taking your kindness for weakness" b/c that's exactly what will happen. I never thought i would try and change myself just to conform to what seems to be the regular routine of society and id definitely hate for it to affect friendships with the people Ive made strong bonds with.

But I'm just really starting to look at shit awhole lot differently now. Sort of standing from the outside looking in. In a way i feel like a weight is being lifted off of me but in the same sense i don't want this to be a curse. Gotta find a way to balance it out.

I wouldn't call this a new me, or a new "personality"
Just simply....what you see is what you get

Just Cant Shake It

2008-12-07T18:42:00.002-05:00

The feeling of always giving a fuck when i really shouldn't
The way of letting shit get under my skin when i can easily brush it off
"whatever, ya point is? uh huh, you just hating, opinions...they're like assholes, errybody got one"
screw all the excuses and cliche predictable responses.

The more you claim to not care, the more obvious you're making it that you do. Why even bother sometimes?

Why even try? Why even try....

You just so happen to turn the other cheek on em, but in turn they go harder on it, almost backing you into a corner until you're forced to make a decision....flight or fight? red pill or blue pill? left or right? up or down? back or forth? well you cant go back any further, ya heels already hitting that wall.

Either way they're only after one thing, and that's satisfaction and they'll get it one way or another at almost any cost just as a form of an ego boost i guess, kinda like on Pokemon where after so many fights they would evolve into a bigger and stronger creature, same concept.
It just amazes me sometimes that folks can be so naive to anything and everything.

hypocritical, habitual, wanna be smooth criminals.....aiming right at you and hollering "pew pew"

lol its just amazing.....so amazing.

Don't worry about it, don't stress it, don't give it a second thought, yada yada yada, kill it
If ignorance is bliss, then why do we seek knowledge?
Knowledge that you claim you have yet contradicting ya self with you're actions.

Cut the act man, curtain fall after this
Fuck it, I'm done for now

Either that or i really gotta shake this shit off.....

Late 80's Early 90s Anyone?

2008-12-06T13:51:00.002-05:00

Woke up this morning, headache THIS big......and its still lingering around, but due to that i don't really feel like doing shit today, plus its looking pretty rainy outside, which it better not seeing as i just gave the whip a nice bath yesterday.

Ima probably just go in the TV room....lay out on the couch and watch all these college football games today.

But i don't know what triggered this whole thing, no wait....i remember, i was watching something on TV and heard that bobby brown song from ghost busters. ain't heard that joint in a long ass time. but i went on ahead and looked it up on YouTube, laughed my ass off at the video then downloaded the song o frost wire......but while i was at it, i started falling off into other songs of the same genre.

Bobby Brown, Johnny Gill, Babyface & Deele, Soul II Soul, just to name a few and got a whole heap of songs from em, i had some of they joints on here before (before i was forced to do a full system restore smh) but getting em back is putting me back on that smooth R&B tip again...i wonder how long its gonna last....

The Deele - Two Occasions - The Deele

Yeen Shit (You're Not Shit)

2008-12-05T09:37:00.002-05:00

OK, I'm usually not the type to stress over something small and simple when when that small and simple thing starts to grow into a bigger and bigger problem then it becomes harder and harder to just ignore it.

iight so let me set the scene, me and this chick work together in the same area doing the same thing everyday, we both scan, correct addresses on packages that come down the belt with blank labels from the trailers. So usually we get slammed with a shitload of packages take be standing like a mile high. now we'd both be scanning em and whatever, and when we get too many of em that are done piled up, she'll go off and start stacking em onto carts to they can be moved to they're correct belt section.

But anyway, my thing is, she herself said it needs to be at least 2 people doing what we do at all times, so why are you going off doing that which i understand they need to be moved so we'll have more room for more packages but bitch you take forever taking the shit, and when somebody else comes over to do it for us, why do you feel the need to walk with them back over to where ever they taking the packages? get your short ass back over here and help finish scanning.

I really cant stand people who do shit like that, and i really think she just don't like scanning, if you don't like it go up top and sweat like a run away slave unloading inside them hot ass trailers for all i care. but don't be taking your sweet ass time doing shit and leaving the work to pile up on me. ole fuck ass. then i got a hint of her wanting to be a supervisor and done took the test and passed for it......WTF for?! so you can stand around all day and yell at me and tell me what to do?
if so then you got another thing coming lil buddy.

just seems like she's taking advantage of this shit and it ain't sitting right with me at all. you ever ran into a person with the same situation?

But in other news, my supervisor told me on my next check i should see a buck increase, not bad...not bad at all...done went from 8.50 to now 11.50...all in under 6 months.

vaarryyyy niceeeeeeeeeeeee[/BORAT]

Peace!!!

Caught Slippin'

2008-12-03T10:22:00.002-05:00

So I'm taking the same route i do every morning home from work....coming around the bend and up ahead of me i see someone step out into the middle of the road, i start to slow down and as i got closer i realized who it was.....bo brown aka Miami-Dade's finest smh.

i pull off to the side, roll down the window, he asks me do i know why he pulled me over, cracked head light? nah....speeding. in all honesty i was just driving along and really wasn't paying attention to anything else until he flagged me down. but i gave him all the information, then he asked me if i ever had gotten any tickets before and when i told him it was my first ticket ever, he did a double take like he was shocked lol.

but yeah he gave me a citation and gave me 3 options, go to court, pay the ticket, or do driving school. the fine is $244....smh i can kinda see why, i was clocked at 51 in a 30. if i pay the fine he said it'd be 4 points on my license as well. He said the best thing is to go to court...which he wont be there but said the judge will look at my driving record and since this is literally my first offense, he might throw the whole thing out including driving school.

i don't know tho man, i don't know why i feel so shaken up over this, and i take back everything i ever said about "it'll never happen to me". great way to start off the day eh?

Wasted

2008-11-30T19:30:00.004-05:00

I kinda feel like i wasted this whole weekend for some reason, didn't really do shit Saturday, and today i woke up to it being all gloomy and rainy outside so i really didn't do anything today either, well i take that back. in light of it drizzling here and there i still went for my routine drive around the city, but under the circumstances, even tho i had my camera on me, i really didn't even feel like taking any pics, well i actually didnt..weird....maybe i was just tryna enjoy the weekend for the most part i guess, it was technically a 4 day weekend even though i had to go in Friday for a few hrs, but meh...its whatever, ill snap out of it.

Speaking of my camera, I'm planning on upgrading it in the next few weeks, Canon 450D....12.2 MP's, live view mode, etc etc. I'm just tryna find a good IS lens right now but the prices ain't looking too nice to me right now, hopefully cyber Monday will have something for me tho. I'm tryna hopefully take this whole thing to another level, couple of friends told me to get a a portfolio together, maybe do a few shoots with some friends. then find like an up and coming make up artist or fashion designer i could help out while in turn getting myself out there as well. seems like its gonna be alotta hard work....who am i kidding, OF COURSE its gonna be hard work but i think I'm up for the challenge. for once in my life this is something i wanna dig into a little deeper and stick with it.

Other than that, same ol shit day in day out, another full work week coming up, hell i should be in bed right now, gotta be at work at 3:30 so that means i gotta get up at least by 2. don't matter to me tho, this is peak season for us which means more work which means more hrs which equals big checks, and i definitely ain't complaining about that. so I'm tryna get all the work i can.

Not much of an update, probably not even that interesting even after reading it myself...damn.
dah well...i hear the sound of thunder a-rumbling outside....

Peace.

Black Friday

2008-11-28T19:37:00.004-05:00

So, did this day leave most of y'all seeing red instead of black? (in money terms, red being bad, black being good) or did y'all not even bother with it? Well i had to work, so that was my excuse but i did see the lines building early this morning around 4am, and i didn't even know we had a tiger direct down here...ain't that some shit....and random..dah well.

most of my shopping will be done within the next 2 weeks, well, its only one thing on my list anyway which most of y'all know about already....i think. but yeah, today went by alot faster than i thought, so i already know this weekend gonna go by just as fast, and Monday will be here sooner than i know it, at least i ain't gotta get up early to go get a haircut and shave.

I wanted to get out and snap a few pics which seems to have become a daily ritual for myself but aint really know where to go, id usually just go out riding around and see what i could see but i just aint feel like doing it today but like usual i got my ass up and went out just for a lil while and well....here's one, most of yall know where to find the rest.....for those who dont check the link.

well....yeah, that's about it for today, guess ima get back to this cheddar jalapeno Cheetos and music.

Peace

http://flickr.com/photos/tre305/

Happy Gooble Gobble Day

2008-11-27T13:20:00.003-05:00

Alot of stuff to be thankful for, just being alive for one, alive to see this day yet another year, a time to see history made with my own two eyes, thankful for the people who i surround myself with and the ones that ive had the pleasure to cross paths with and add to that list and alot more that i really dont feel like typing right now lol.

Hope its a blessed day to all of y'all weather you're spending it with family or co-workers, do it up and do it big.

just dont OVER do it lol, save some for them turkey sammiches next week. and save me some liquor! time to get back to the pre game show and wait on the food to get done.

Peace!

Memories Made In....

2008-11-26T12:48:00.002-05:00

Just about full force into fall which mean the cold snaps are on the way, and even tho its not cold down here, i do feel cold inside.

i guess one reason could be is b/c around this time of year i fall into a gloomy state of self, mostly b/c i miss my grandma and her cooking, right about now she'd have that kitchen jumping like the springs on a trampoline and the icing on the cake would be her peach cobbler, one bite of that stuff would make even the most senile man crack a smile.

Second reason for this feeling i guess is b/c I'm getting to the point where id like to settle down with a young lady, but i feel like i wouldn't be up to par, and i feel myself getting to the point of where I'm like "fuck love"...ill probably be single for a long time, hopefully not the rest of my life, but it doesn't seem to be getting any better. i feel like ill bring more cons than pros into a relationship and that it'll end up being an epic PHIAL.

Maybe I'm just over analyzing it or it might just be some truth in there somewhere. but either way sometimes i just feel like whats the use of putting my heart out there on the front lines with its bound to take a shot to the head from an assassins bullet. I'm blessed to know an many people as i do to keep my sane and all of that jazz, but i guess I'm getting sick and tired of tryna find that right one, "my better half", but keep running into the wrong half's.

To be honest, id say the few folks i do know (and they know who they are) are better than some fish and grits with some hot sauce on top, and i wish they lived just a lil bit closer, some true "kick it" folks they are. but I'm just saying....I'm just looking for a little happiness, that ain't much to ask for is it?......

Riddle me that....

Coldest Winter - Kanye West

2 for 1

2008-11-23T18:07:00.003-05:00

i should have just edited the last entry and added this but dah well, im lazy, plus its sunday, sue me. but i just got back from my little outting and i must say damn i feel a whole lot better, maybe it was b/c just getting out and getting away just soothes me, or the fact that ive never seen so many half a million dollar cars just riding around like honda's and toyota's. who knows. but it was a hell of a way to end a perfect sunday and to sweeten the deal, its gonna be a 3 day work week for me coming up, cant be mad at that!. but yeah, just thought id share and one or two shots i got off while i was out. dont forget to hit up my flickr page if you wanna see the rest of the set PEACE!

Whats Going On?

2008-11-23T14:35:00.002-05:00

ushered at church this morning, felt like all yes were on me for some reason
maybe b/c i was manning one of the front doors, meh.

stomach hurting like hell as well at my right knee, prolonged standing maybe?

came home to find the big ass pizza i brought yesterday was almost gone, well really only
3 slices left, and i only ate 3 yesterday, so where did the other slices go? got up and walked out?
riddle me that?

seems like today just ain't my day, hasn't been since i woke up this morning, but I'm off to do the one thing that does bring me peace and tranquility....a nice little drive around the city with my camera

peace....

Holy Moly Donut Shop

2008-11-21T12:25:00.006-05:00

Welp ladies and gents, another Friday is upon us and for some payday as well. ain't life grand? its been an alright week for me, not too much excitement. i do have another outing planned for a photo shoot tho. i wanna catch the sun coming up b/c i always see it at work and its well....beautiful. i might do it tomorrow if i even get up, or next Thursday since ill be off.

i did download a shitload of music yesterday, mostly for this chick at work who wanted some mix cds, gotta get that side hustle on lol, but for anyone who knows me should know im a HUGE old school head, and by old school i mean 50s, 60s, and 70s era's. a whole heap of the four tops, curtis mayfield and the impressions, etc etc, one song im REALLY digging that i aint heard in yrs, ill post it up at the end of this, but my mama finna love me for this lol

speaking of next week, we got ourselves a 3 day week, well "I" got Monday thru Wednesday, off for turkey day, then i was asked to come in Friday for a few hrs, which i ain't complaining about at all, that's time and a half money, and i ain't finna miss out on that, although as much as id like to be apart of black Friday, there's always next year.

but in other news....who am i kidding, this ain't news, but this kanye album, i downloaded it yesterday, and i still ain't sat and listened to it all the way thru but i hear folks saying is str8 garbage b/c he's actually singing this time around and not rapping and the use of the "t-pain affect" but i cant give my opinion yet b/c Ive only listened to the songs i already had downloaded before but i will say the version of "robo cop" i have is better than the album version.

but yeah, i ain't been too long got home from work, back was killing me earlier, i GOTTA stop tryna be super negro but i be just tryna get rid of the work soon as they drop it down but I'm feeling much better now, need to go make use of my cousins jacuzzi tho.

but yeah, about to head out again in a few and see what randoms i can capture with this camera of mines, and grab something to eat. y'all have a safe and great weekend

Peace.

Reach Out, Ill Be There - Four Tops

PS: i think I'm starting to get the hang of this motion blur technique with the camera and well, this shot here, I'm really proud of.

just thought I'd share

[insert title here]

2008-11-18T17:46:00.005-05:00

Nothing new today, went surprisingly smooth at work for some reason, gotta bundle up in the morning tho, they talking low 40s. OH BOY!

took a trip to the "city" and my old stomping grounds, mama wanted some collard greens and chicken wings. they rode around for a bit and i swear i don't even recognize some spots no more, its just so built up and cleaned up. Looks way much better from the days i was coming up, up there. more houses, new schools, newly paved roads, new stop lights, even a big ass walmart which i would have never thought would be in that area.

Rode by our old townhouse we used to stay on that was on the news a while back b/c the house next door to it caught fire and pretty much burned down, no roof, uninhabitable, etc etc. it kinda hit me b/c theres whats called a "firewall" that separated our house from the next one, and the irony of it is as i looked at the smoke damage on that wall, on the very other side of that wall was my room. and its so funny b/c we could have still been living up there and well....you know where I'm going.

but yeah, pretty plain day, maybe ill have something exciting next time around, in the meantime enjoy the pics and music. peace....

Amazing (Feat. Young Jeezy) - Kanye West

Sundays Blessings

2008-11-16T19:27:00.002-05:00

Hope yall's weekend was good and safe, as for my Sunday it was pretty good, finally went back to church for the first time in like 3 weeks but it seems like hardly anyone missed i was gone lol, dah well, i ain't tryna impress anyone.

got out of church, went over to my aunts house to look at some paperwork for our family reunion next year and even tho i ain't made my year anniversary at the job, I'm hoping i can get it off b/c i need a vacashunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

oh yeah, shout out to the mullets aka the dolphins for the win over the raiders, even tho Pennington was throwing like he was scared and shit, its all good, they still got the W, congrats to em...AFC playoffs? maybe so.

i had planned on going on one of my daily weekend outings to snap a few pics but ended up spending most of the afternoon over my aunts house watching the games, so i just ended up getting some chicken wings from miami subs (gotta love them 39 cent Sundays) and headed back home to finish watching the games.

so all in all it was a good day, a bit nippy as hell too and now that the sun has gone down i know its gonna be brisk as hell in the morning, better get my hoody out. although i did get some bad news about 15 minutes ago, i ain't gonna let that ruin this moment, everything happens for a reason right? so i ain't gonna worry about it and just leave it where it belongs, in the past.

well i hope y'all have a blessed upcoming week
peace.

Some Early Morning Sh...

2008-11-15T10:04:00.004-05:00

So i actually woke up at damn near 8am on the dot, and still felt tired as hell, i mean i went to sleep around 7ish last night so that's well over 8 hrs of sleep but yet i feel like i need more smh, dah well, i really ain't got shit to do today. went and got my cut and shave yesterday so that's marked off the list. guess ima just be playing it by ear. might just go on a sight seeing trip around the city with my best friend....my camera (hawhawhaw) i really need to start getting some shots of these hot rods rolling around b/c i swear it aint a day that goes by where i dont see at least 10 cars worth over 100k just crusing around....must be pretty nice tho....

also thought my phone had finally brought the farm this morning since it said "Sim card not found" when i picked it up. Got kind of worried but turned out just a quick pop out of my Sim card and pop back in took care of that....false alarm.

but yeah, yesterday i went to the book store with my mama b/c she wanted to get some magazines about Obama and a paperback, so while she was on the search for that i went just walking around, and came across the "technology section".....felt like a kid in a candy store right? well kinda sorta. they had shit load of books from windows vista and XP to understanding OS servers and flash up to Adobe apps such as Photo Shop and Light Room and etc etc.

but what caught my eye was the Digital Photography book (of course). Had the ones for dummies all the way up to the advanced users editions. i took a few down and glanced thru em.
seems like its a whole lot of information i need to take in from em to sharpen my skills behind the camera. especially since i wanna get more into night photography. So that's definitely something ima look into.

Something that amazed me tho, is that while i was on my way home yesterday on the "richer" side of town, i rode by a development where some "pricey" homes were going up. they were pretty big in size but like most of the homes around there, they really had no yard space. but what really caught my eye was the big ass advertisement sign they had up out front.

now i know 6 digit numbers means hundred thousand. but this sign had 7 digits and you already know what that means......but the exact amount was 2.6 million STARTING OFF.....smfh that's all i could really do, as bad as the economy is right now and they building these SEMI mega mansions for that much? id love to see the people that's gonna move into em but then again i know its gonna happen but that just seems ass backwards to me.

But the time now is 10:28 and ill go ahead and cut this off short and wish all who read this a great and safe weekend and remember don't drink and drive..........................................at the same time lol.

Peace

Shout Outs/First Audio Blog

2008-11-13T14:31:00.001-05:00

Gabcast! just me #2

Street Lights - Kanye West

Lawd....

2008-11-11T17:20:00.003-05:00

Hurt my wrist at work...feel like I'm about to pop it outta place if i don't start being more careful
i mean i AM being careful but supervisors acting like some pricks talking about "pick up the pace", i ain't tryna get hurt just so billy joe bob can get his box of liquor on time. fuckouttamyface

and i really think i let too much shit slide that 9 times outta 10 the next person would speak up on.
i mean for an example at work, with all the yelling and stuff, anybody else would yell right back at em right? well i just look at the person, nod my head and continue with what i was doing. and i really think that's making me a ticking time bomb and its only a matter of time til that one slip up causes me to explode (no pun) but eh, as long as that day ain't no time soon I'm good.

but anyway, with all that bad shit, KINDA had me feeling down, i just so happened to walk out the door to the mailbox to get the mail....and soon as i opened the door.....BAM

made me think...as bad as shit may seem and may be going....it could be a whole lot worse, so maybe things ain't that bad at all....

peace