They say tears are nothing but weakness leaving the body and now after reading something else from a status on facebook i can call them something else.
"crying are your eyes way of telling what your mouth cant say or your heart cant explain"
Its not often that i break down and let out a few tears but when i get into a mood where it seems that everything seems to be crumbling around me, when i just don't know what my next move is going to be, that's when i turn to God.
I put on these headphones, i open my my gospel play list, and i get into some deep prayer.....like what i just did moments before i wrote this entry.
I mean i was already in a funk, so many thoughts running though my mind that it almost made me dizzy. I was listening to "our god" by Chris Tomlin and somehow ended up on google looking up the interpretation of dreams about dead relatives and what it means.
And....during the peak of the song....the thoughts, the issues, the trails, the emotions....everything i had been bottling up inside me for so long just spilled over and i just had to let it out.
It reminds me of a dream i had a while back....i don't know what the circumstances were behind it but i just know....it was one rainy morning and i was walking out the door to go to work, got in my car, pushed the button the start the engine and it wouldn't turn over....and in that moment almost instantly i remember myself just crying out for the lord.
I really don't know what could be going on with me but i honestly think these could be signs for me to start going deeper into my faith with God, walking just a little bit closer to him which i have to admit i find myself doing alot more lately.
Maybe its him telling me that I've strayed a little too far away from him and its time to come back home......
